"IN MY HOME!"

I was as livid as Michael Corleone after the failed attempt on his life at his home on Lake Tahoe.  “IN MY HOME! Where my wife sleeps.  Where my children come to play with their toys.” 

As a Yankee fan I consider the Stadium to be my home in a way, and I can’t stand that an awful element has oozed it’s way into the Big Ballpark in the Bronx.  You’ve seen them too.  They are the unwanted house guests that may have come with a friend of a friend and you want them to leave…A S A F’n P!

I was at Yankee Stadium this past weekend.  It was a beautiful day for baseball and the Bronx Bombers were out in force backing up the Big Man on the bump.

Chris Young, Jose Pirela and Brett Gardner went yard to complete the sweep of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (off the 5, near Disneyland, South of Knott’s Berry Farm, North of Carlsbad, East of the Pacific, close to the strip mall with the Tony Roma’s).  It was just fun to watch the Yankees play…but it was not fun to see some ridiculous fan behavior, behavior that seems to be the new normal around the league.

The incident that fired up my Irish temper came in the 6th inning.  A man, who showed up in the 4th & was loaded a with nacho bowl that would make Guy Fieri throw up, refused to stand up as a pregnant woman tried to make her way to the restroom. Instead he weakly tilted his knees to the right and huffed as if the woman had asked him for a bite of his nauseating buffet.  As the woman struggled I couldn’t stay quiet.  I stood up and barked, “Hey Cheese Whiz! Get on your feet! She is pregnant!”  This caused a few nearby folks to applaud and help shame this zero in to standing up.  What world are we living in?  How is this EVER okay?  My true feeling is that this problem goes way beyond baseball games.  I think the WHOLE country needs a check up from the neck up…but that’s for another time.

Baseball games are one of the last frontiers of decency…or at least they should be.  If you are a man over the age of 15 and are lucky enough to snag a foul ball…IT GOES TO THE NEAREST LITTLE SLUGGER YOU FIND!  Period.  You don’t keep it.  You don’t out maneuver a small boy or girl to snatch it away and go back to your nachos.  And you CERTAINLY DO NOT shove a woman or child for that souvenir pill.  That stunt should get you tossed by the home plate ump and booed until you grow the F*** up.  Still collecting baseball cards and autographs at 38, champ?  Swell, now get in the back of the line (unless you are helping your son or daughter of course) and wait your turn… that passed 30 years ago by the way.  Yeah, not impressed with the glove you brought to the game with Brien Taylor’s signature on it…oh it was the first he ever signed in the big leagues? Go play hopscotch on the Deegan.

Now some reading this may disagree with me.  That’s fine.  That’s your right.  But know in your heart that I’m putting you and those in your sad, ass backwards, creepy world on notice.  There are many more of us than there are of you.  People who love the game, the tradition, the heroes, but also know that Baseball is for the kids.  We can always love the game, but like Mr. Torre said, we are just renting it.  We pass it along to the next generation in as good or better condition than it was given to us.  And that’s not just playing baseball.  We also pass on the history, tradition and class the sport was built on.

If this sounds a bit preachy I apologize.  If I seem too “Holy Rollin’ Joe”, well, I’m sorry…to a point.  I won’t change my mind or ease off clowns like the one I encountered this last trip to the Stadium.  These guys should stay home organizing their Fleer 1991 collection, eat Pop Tarts and drink Dr. Pepper.  Stay away from the ballpark.  We don’t need you…oh and wipe your chin.  That’s processed liquid cheese not moisturizing lotion.

** It’s my house! It’s our house! It’s RUN’S house! …But it will NEVER be your house, NACHO-MAN! **


 
--Mike O'Hara
Senior "Features" Writer
Twitter: @mikeyoh21


   
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