WHY ARE WE FORCING VOLPE ON THE NEW YORK YANKEES?

Apparently, Anthony Volpe is Barry Bonds now.

Wonderful.

Alert Cooperstown. Somebody get the plaque ready. Jasson Dominguez says Volpe has “become Barry Bonds” down in Triple-A, and while I understand a teammate pumping up another teammate, can we please come back to planet Earth for five freaking minutes?

Barry Bonds? Anthony Volpe has five homers in his last five games in Scranton. That's terrific.

Barry Bonds hit 762 home runs in the major leagues.

Small difference.

And before everybody starts screaming that I'm picking on poor Anthony again, understand something: I'm actually happy Volpe is hitting. Since being sent down, he's put up good numbers — .299/.393/.701 with 10 homers over 97 plate appearances.

Bravo. Seriously. Now leave him the hell down there.

Why is that controversial?

We've spent three years watching the Yankees try to hammer a square peg into a round hole while insisting that if they just hammer hard enough, eventually we're all going to see the superstar they promised us.

I'm tired. How many Anthony Volpe auditions does one organization get? He struggled. We waited. He struggled some more. We waited some more.

More adjustments. More patience. More Aaron Boone speeches about how Anthony is “really close.” Close to what?

Because apparently he's finally arrived — in Scranton. Maybe this isn't a comeback story. Maybe it's a discovery. Maybe we've finally located Anthony Volpe's natural habitat.

Triple-A.

Mean? Not really. This is reality. It's the article you will not read anywhere else. Sometimes honesty needs to peak through the looniness of this entire story.  Perhaps we've learned something incredibly important here.

When the lights aren't as bright, when Yankee Stadium isn't packed, when the New York media isn't hovering and when 40,000 people aren't wondering why you just chased another slider off the plate...

Anthony Volpe can rake. Great. Unfortunately, Yankee Stadium isn't moving to Scranton. The Bronx doesn't come with training wheels. Maybe New York is simply too damn big for Anthony Volpe.

It happens. Some guys walk into Yankee Stadium and become bigger. Other guys get swallowed by it. Maybe Volpe needs Miami or Kansas City. Seriously.

Send him somewhere he can play second base on a Tuesday night without every at-bat becoming a referendum on whether he's the next Derek Jeter. Let him breathe. Let him play. Let him figure himself out somewhere that doesn't require him to carry Yankee expectations around like a refrigerator strapped to his back.

Because I already know what's coming. September. Expanded rosters. Volpe keeps hitting bombs in Scranton. And somewhere inside Yankee Stadium, Aaron Boone starts getting that look in his eye. You know the look. His boy toy is hitting again. And Boone is going to want his boy toy back.

“Anthony's in a really good place right now.”

Oh, Jesus Christ. Here we go again. Boone's crush is coming home. Then we'll get the press conference.

“He's worked really hard. He's made some adjustments. We really like where he's at. He's impacting the baseball.”

Maybe Boone will even tell us he's been “elite.” They love that word over there. And before Volpe's Scranton apartment has even cooled off, Volpe will be back in the Bronx and we'll begin another exciting season of Everybody Pretend Anthony Volpe Has Finally Figured It Out.

Why?

Leave. Him. Down. There.

For once, let the kid actually develop. If he's finally comfortable, let him stay comfortable. Give him 200 more plate appearances. Give him 300. Hell call him Scranton's Captain for crying out loud!

Let him destroy Triple-A pitching until the International League files a restraining order.

There is absolutely no rule saying that because Anthony Volpe gets hot in Scranton, the Yankees must immediately drag him back to New York to see whether he can find a brand-new way to disappoint everybody.

Meanwhile, George Lombard Jr. is here and he's better anyway. So play him! Stop treating the Yankees' major-league roster like Boone's boy toy has a lifetime membership.

And please stop pretending Triple-A success means the Yankees were right about Volpe all along.

Maybe the scouts weren't completely wrong about Anthony Volpe. Maybe they just had the wrong league... on the smaller stage, without the suffocating pressure and expectations of New York, Anthony Volpe really can be a star.

Beautiful.

Then let him be the Babe Ruth of Scranton. Let him hit 40... 60.

I'll send flowers.

But until Anthony Volpe proves he can consistently hit major-league pitching, spare me the Barry Bonds comparisons. Barry Bonds terrorized major-league pitchers.

Anthony Volpe is currently terrorizing Triple-A.

Pump the freaking breaks, Jasson.

This one's for you Boh.