NO "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" THAT I CAN SEE

Mission Accomplished? How about "Mission, who's starting Game 3?"

So, let’s just say it out loud: The Yankees don’t have a new starting pitcher. You can dress it up in Pinstripes and slap a hype video on it, but facts are facts. They’ve got closers. Lots of closers. Enough closers to start a whole separate bullpen league. But a starter? The thing they actually needed? Nope. Not one. Not a single real-deal, innings-eating, rotation-stabilizing starting pitcher.

And yet, somehow, Brian Cashman stood in front of cameras with a straight face and dropped the words:

“Mission accomplished.”

What is this, a bad sequel to Moneyball? Except this time, it’s Funnyball — and the punchline is us. Sure, Cashman also said,

“I know we’re better today than we were yesterday.”

Cool. But saying we’re better is like putting whipped cream on a trash can. Still garbage underneath.

Let’s review the receipts, shall we?
Gerrit Cole: still out post-Tommy John.
Clarke Schmidt: same surgery, same fate — toast.
Luis Gil: M.I.A. since February with a lat issue.

Marcus Stroman: Um
And that’s your top-end depth, folks. Behind them? A collection of “openers,” “bullpen games,” and desperate finger-crossing.

We have Max Fried and Carlos Rodon and I'm thrilled with that. But that's not gonna help anyone in a short series and the Yankees are not thinking ahead. And what’s worse — nobody in the front office seems remotely panicked about it. The Boone-Cashman tag team continues to operate like a malfunctioning GPS: absolutely convinced they know the way, ignoring every single “WRONG TURN” alert.

Enter David Samson. Now, listen — I don’t like the guy. He’s a smug little troll who used to run the Marlins and was bad at it. But unfortunately… he's right.

“They act like everything’s fine,” Samson said. “But it’s not.”
On Volpe’s defense? “No, he’s not [good out there]. You know that.”

This from a guy I’d normally dismiss as a human mosquito, but at this point, I’d rather hear him than another Boone soliloquy about grit and “playing the game the right way.” Enough already.

Volpe’s defense has been brutal. We’re past the point of “rough patch.” It’s a liability. But Boone just smirks and spins it like he’s selling timeshares. And the fanbase? We’re not stupid. We know what we’re seeing. And what we’re seeing is a front office that’s perfectly fine settling for kinda okay.

We’re 3.5 games back. Could we make a run? Absolutely. But this isn’t about just sneaking into October — it’s about winning a championship. And right now, this roster isn't built for that. 

Meanwhile, the Seattle Mariners — a team with actual vision — loaded up with Josh Naylor and Eugenio Suárez to thicken their lineup, and Caleb Ferguson to reinforce the ‘pen. All without coughing up elite prospects. That’s how you win a deadline. That’s how you push chips in without flipping the table. The Yankees? They scrambled like it was a fantasy league draft and Cashman got auto-picked eight middle relievers.

And don’t even get me started on Michael Kay. This man — sitting high on his YES throne — tried to sell us the idea that Boone “got to the World Series” and you have to give Boone credit for that? Um, no we don't. This tool actually suggested that Boone got there with two guys who don't even have jobs this season: Anthony Rizzo and Alex Verdugo.

Excuse me? Let’s talk numbers:

 
Verdugo had 8 RBIs, and 6 runs scored in the postseason.  Rizzo? .267 average in 10 playoff games. That’s production, not irrelevance. So why is Kay acting like they were lucky fans who won a raffle to be in the lineup? They did their job last year's post season.

Kay is defending the indefensible. He’s gaslighting Yankee fans into believing that this mess is part of a master plan. He also gets paid by the Yankees, so see how that works? He's actually suggesting that Boone is a misunderstood genius and Cashman is some modern-day baseball Mozart. But it’s garbage. All of it. The Yankees front office picks wrong, sticks with wrong, and then tries to convince you that wrong is the new right. Just look at Volpe.

Let’s make this simple: You don’t win rings with vibes. You win with starters.  You don’t build a championship roster around hope and “he’s trending up.” analytics. You build it by addressing obvious, gaping holes with urgency — something the Yankees have lacked for years. But remember fans, the money’s still pouring in, so why change?

Well, here's why: fans aren’t stupid. We’re fed up. This deadline wasn’t bold — it was bizarre. It was Cashman filling a wine cellar when the roof is caving in.  So yeah, we might still make the playoffs. But what then? Another flameout while Boone shrugs and says he “liked our compete”? No thanks. I’ve seen that movie — and spoiler alert — it doesn’t end well.

This team, as constructed, isn’t winning the World Series. They aren’t built for a parade — they’re built for a press conference. And once again, us fans are left with the bill and the empty trophy case in Loserville.

SCOTT BORAS RUINED ALONSO

Pete Alonso should be at the center of the baseball world right now. He’s a premier power hitter, a fan favorite, and someone any team looking for a big bat should be pursuing. Yet, here we are, deep into the offseason, and Alonso remains without a deal, caught in the chaos created by his agent, Scott Boras.

At one point, the New York Yankees were reportedly interested in Alonso. It made sense—they needed more offensive firepower, and Alonso, with his ability to crush home runs and handle the New York market, seemed like a natural fit. But before negotiations could even begin, Boras stepped in and did what he does best: overplay his hand.

Boras slapped an absurd $150 million price tag on Alonso, a number so high that the Yankees immediately backed off. Rather than engaging in talks or trying to work out a reasonable deal, the Yankees pivoted to other options, setting their sights on players like Josh Naylor and Paul Goldschmidt. The message was clear: They weren’t going to waste time dealing with Boras’ inflated demands.

And who can blame them? Boras has long been known for pushing the market to its limits, but there’s a difference between negotiating hard and completely sabotaging your client’s opportunities. This isn’t about getting Alonso the best deal—it’s about Boras making himself the center of attention.

The worst part about all of this? Alonso isn’t the kind of player to make outrageous demands. By all accounts, he’s not being greedy—he simply wants a fair contract that reflects his value. But thanks to Boras, teams aren’t even considering him, fearing the circus that comes with dealing with the super-agent.

Now, instead of being at the heart of a bidding war, Alonso finds himself in a frustrating situation with the Mets. Negotiations have dragged on for weeks, and even Mets owner Steve Cohen has admitted that these talks have been more exhausting than the ones surrounding Juan Soto. That’s saying something.

Boras’ stubborn approach has only made things worse, creating unnecessary roadblocks and delaying what should have been a straightforward process. What should have been a relatively smooth contract discussion has turned into a drawn-out mess, leaving Alonso in limbo while other players secure their futures.

Despite all the drama, there are now reports that Alonso is closing in on a deal with the Mets. While the exact details remain unclear, it’s rumored to be a three-year contract—something that sounds much more reasonable than the ridiculous numbers Boras was floating around.

If this deal gets done, it won’t be because of Boras’ negotiating genius. It will be because Alonso is a talented, realistic player who just wants to play baseball. It will be because the Mets recognize his value and want to keep him in New York. In other words, it will be in spite of Boras, not because of him.

This isn’t the first time Boras has created unnecessary chaos, and it certainly won’t be the last. But at what point do his clients start questioning whether he’s actually helping them?

Agents are supposed to work for the players, not the other way around. Yet, with Boras, it often feels like his clients are just pawns in his endless quest to inflate the market and boost his own reputation. He’s supposed to be making Alonso’s free agency easier—not turning it into a sideshow.

Alonso deserves better. He’s a top-tier slugger, a clubhouse leader, and someone who should have been one of the first players off the board this offseason. Instead, thanks to Boras, he’s had to endure unnecessary delays, lost potential suitors, and watched other players get the contracts that should have been available to him.

If Boras keeps this up, he won’t just be hurting Alonso—he’ll be hurting his own reputation. At some point, players will start to realize that sometimes, an agent’s ego isn’t worth the headache.

The bottom line? It’s time for Boras to stop playing games and start doing his actual job: securing the best deals for his clients, not himself.

TRADING FOR JOSH NAYLOR FEELS ICKY TO ME

It seems the Yankees are ready to move on from Anthony Rizzo at first base, and somehow Josh Naylor of the Cleveland Indians has entered the conversation as a potential “top target.” Let’s be real: Naylor might have some pop in his bat, but do the Yankees really need this guy? He’s a decent player—sure, 31 home runs and 108 RBI last season are nothing to sneeze at—but he’s also the kind of trashy, overhyped player Yankees fans can’t stand, especially since he plays like he’s got a permanent chip on his shoulder against the Bronx. Not exactly the vibes you want on a team with championship aspirations.

Naylor is in the final year of his rookie deal and set to make around $14 million in arbitration, which, let’s face it, is a lot to pay for a guy who just slashed .243/.320/.456. Sure, he earned his first All-Star nod in 2024, but that’s more of a "good for you" moment than proof he’s a game-changer. The idea of him hitting behind Aaron Judge and maybe Juan Soto in the Yankees lineup is enough to make Cleveland fans shudder, but do we really think Naylor’s got what it takes to make that kind of impact in the Bronx? Doubtful.

The trade rumors have already started, with some suggesting Cleveland could send Naylor to New York for lefty Nestor Cortes. On paper, it sounds plausible: the Indians desperately need pitching, and the Yankees, while short on first basemen, have a slight surplus of arms. Cortes, who posted a 3.77 ERA in 2024, is coming off an injury but is a known quantity with All-Star potential. Naylor, on the other hand, feels like a gamble, especially when you consider the Yankees could easily look elsewhere in free agency or give their own prospects a chance.

Here’s the good news for Yankee fans: Cleveland probably won’t move Naylor anyway. As much as I’d love to see him flame out under the bright lights of Yankee Stadium, the Indians would be losing a huge bat from their lineup—one they can’t afford to replace. Naylor might be a fit for someone else, but the Yankees don’t need him. They need reliability, not another fiery personality who’s as likely to ignite a rally as he is to ignite a rivalry. Let Cleveland keep their big bat with the big mouth. The Yankees have bigger fish to fry.

HEY NAYLOR - "ROCK THE BABY" TO THAT BIG LOSS!

I gotta say, I love this Cleveland Indians - I mean GUARDIANS team, they fascinate me. They all act like the can talk the talk and walk the walk, but boy does it backfire sometimes.... like last night. I don't care what name is on their jerseys, for me they are the Cleveland Clowns. 

We got our first look earlier this season when clown #1 Myles Straw decided to scale the outfield wall like he was freaking Spiderman thinking he was going to best angry Yankee fans and make them feel small or something. Boy, that didn't work out so well.

Now we have clown #2 Josh Naylor trying to get inside Gerrit Cole's head with his "rock the baby" antics after he hit his solo home run. In case you didn't get a good look at it, check it out.

As he's rounding first base doing his silly little dance he yells "That's my f--cking little son" into the camera. Supposedly, this is normal for nutty Naylor, and he's done it to other players. This Naylor kid is funny, calling himself Cole's daddy. This kid has balls.... he's just not very bright. 

First of .... who the hell is this kid? Seriously, never heard anything about him until last night. Then you go look at his stats and laugh. This is his first season playing over 100 games. He's also got a .253 career average so far, just barely had a career high 20 home run season and had more strikeouts than RBIs. Okay kid.... sure, you win.

Except you didn't win at all. You are a nobody coming back to the Bronx for the last game of the series. You and your buddy Straw man are great circus clowns. I can't wait to hear what fans in Yankee stadium chant at Naylor today.

I lost postseason baseball. I love that Naylor and the Clowns lost last night and Cole pitched a great game. I guess that makes Cole CLEVELAND's daddy. Time to bring it back to the Bronx and finish this!

--Jeana Bellezza-Ochoa

BYB Senior Managing Editor

Twitter: @nyprincessj