NO "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" THAT I CAN SEE

Mission Accomplished? How about "Mission, who's starting Game 3?"

So, let’s just say it out loud: The Yankees don’t have a new starting pitcher. You can dress it up in Pinstripes and slap a hype video on it, but facts are facts. They’ve got closers. Lots of closers. Enough closers to start a whole separate bullpen league. But a starter? The thing they actually needed? Nope. Not one. Not a single real-deal, innings-eating, rotation-stabilizing starting pitcher.

And yet, somehow, Brian Cashman stood in front of cameras with a straight face and dropped the words:

“Mission accomplished.”

What is this, a bad sequel to Moneyball? Except this time, it’s Funnyball — and the punchline is us. Sure, Cashman also said,

“I know we’re better today than we were yesterday.”

Cool. But saying we’re better is like putting whipped cream on a trash can. Still garbage underneath.

Let’s review the receipts, shall we?
Gerrit Cole: still out post-Tommy John.
Clarke Schmidt: same surgery, same fate — toast.
Luis Gil: M.I.A. since February with a lat issue.

Marcus Stroman: Um
And that’s your top-end depth, folks. Behind them? A collection of “openers,” “bullpen games,” and desperate finger-crossing.

We have Max Fried and Carlos Rodon and I'm thrilled with that. But that's not gonna help anyone in a short series and the Yankees are not thinking ahead. And what’s worse — nobody in the front office seems remotely panicked about it. The Boone-Cashman tag team continues to operate like a malfunctioning GPS: absolutely convinced they know the way, ignoring every single “WRONG TURN” alert.

Enter David Samson. Now, listen — I don’t like the guy. He’s a smug little troll who used to run the Marlins and was bad at it. But unfortunately… he's right.

“They act like everything’s fine,” Samson said. “But it’s not.”
On Volpe’s defense? “No, he’s not [good out there]. You know that.”

This from a guy I’d normally dismiss as a human mosquito, but at this point, I’d rather hear him than another Boone soliloquy about grit and “playing the game the right way.” Enough already.

Volpe’s defense has been brutal. We’re past the point of “rough patch.” It’s a liability. But Boone just smirks and spins it like he’s selling timeshares. And the fanbase? We’re not stupid. We know what we’re seeing. And what we’re seeing is a front office that’s perfectly fine settling for kinda okay.

We’re 3.5 games back. Could we make a run? Absolutely. But this isn’t about just sneaking into October — it’s about winning a championship. And right now, this roster isn't built for that. 

Meanwhile, the Seattle Mariners — a team with actual vision — loaded up with Josh Naylor and Eugenio Suárez to thicken their lineup, and Caleb Ferguson to reinforce the ‘pen. All without coughing up elite prospects. That’s how you win a deadline. That’s how you push chips in without flipping the table. The Yankees? They scrambled like it was a fantasy league draft and Cashman got auto-picked eight middle relievers.

And don’t even get me started on Michael Kay. This man — sitting high on his YES throne — tried to sell us the idea that Boone “got to the World Series” and you have to give Boone credit for that? Um, no we don't. This tool actually suggested that Boone got there with two guys who don't even have jobs this season: Anthony Rizzo and Alex Verdugo.

Excuse me? Let’s talk numbers:

 
Verdugo had 8 RBIs, and 6 runs scored in the postseason.  Rizzo? .267 average in 10 playoff games. That’s production, not irrelevance. So why is Kay acting like they were lucky fans who won a raffle to be in the lineup? They did their job last year's post season.

Kay is defending the indefensible. He’s gaslighting Yankee fans into believing that this mess is part of a master plan. He also gets paid by the Yankees, so see how that works? He's actually suggesting that Boone is a misunderstood genius and Cashman is some modern-day baseball Mozart. But it’s garbage. All of it. The Yankees front office picks wrong, sticks with wrong, and then tries to convince you that wrong is the new right. Just look at Volpe.

Let’s make this simple: You don’t win rings with vibes. You win with starters.  You don’t build a championship roster around hope and “he’s trending up.” analytics. You build it by addressing obvious, gaping holes with urgency — something the Yankees have lacked for years. But remember fans, the money’s still pouring in, so why change?

Well, here's why: fans aren’t stupid. We’re fed up. This deadline wasn’t bold — it was bizarre. It was Cashman filling a wine cellar when the roof is caving in.  So yeah, we might still make the playoffs. But what then? Another flameout while Boone shrugs and says he “liked our compete”? No thanks. I’ve seen that movie — and spoiler alert — it doesn’t end well.

This team, as constructed, isn’t winning the World Series. They aren’t built for a parade — they’re built for a press conference. And once again, us fans are left with the bill and the empty trophy case in Loserville.