By the powers vested in me (in my own mind) I hereby call this trial of Mark Teixeira to order! At last, I get to use all of the legal jargon I have learned from those dramatic legal shows and old school favorites, like Matlock. Oh yes folks, I went there. In fact, call me F. Lee Bailey (look him up, he was brilliant). Be prepared because it's about to get real.
My great friend and peer Mike O'Hara made some fascinating points in his article AND NOW MR. TEIXEIRA...YOU GOTTA GO! I must admit, I read some of them and nodded my head as I usually do when I read his work. There are many things we agree on, but I am prepared to go to the mat here and say that if this is Teixeira's arraignment there are missing pieces to the puzzle. Teixeira is entitled to due process here! (Oh there is more jargon coming, folks).
I object to the accusation that Mark Teixeira is an offensive black hole....partially. Look, this entire team is an offensive black hole with the exceptions of Jacoby Ellsbury and Brett Gardner.
These guys can't hit a beach ball if it were lobbed to them right now. They suck. Sorry, my softball team can school these guys right now. Mark Teixeira is not the culprit for the lack of offense. Does he help the issue? No. I won't acquit him of all charges here. However, what about the rest of the lineup? What about the lack of leadership? There is no "I" in team, folks. Everyone on the roster is supposed to hit. This man, is not a scapegoat. You want a scapegoat....let me introduce you to Kevin Long! I would hold that man without bail at this point. Anyone else angry that we are on pace to lose more games this season then last season....with a "BETTER" offense? Come on.
I also object to charging Teixeira with impersonating as a switch hitter. Again, he isn't the only switch hitter on this team. Have you ever tried to hit a tiny ball coming at you fast from both sides of the plate? It's two different swings, folks. If it were easy then that would mean everyone could do it and WOULD do it and pitchers would have more red marks on their scorecards then they do. Now, if you want to argue that maybe he should stick to one side then I can't refute that and I won't try. In fact, we wrote about this two years ago in WHY MARK TEIXEIRA SHOULD GIVE UP SWITCH HITTING. However, I look at it as this guy is a gamer and he WANTS to bring this skill to the table. Double the work people, and I admire that. Also, if you want to charge a hitter with being a lousy switch hitter why did we not throw Carlos Beltran in this mix? He's not exactly knocking the cover off of the ball with his .239BA. He may be the new guy to the team but this guy is also a veteran so he does not deserve a pass. Pick whichever side you want, the team as a whole has been disappointing no matter which side of the plate they swing the bat from....not just Tex.
In addition, I would like to remind everyone what Tex is capable of. We tend to fall into the "what have you done for me lately?" frame of mind. Well folks, let me tell you what he has done. He is responsible for rallying the Yankees to beat Boston. Yes, in the bottom of the 9th inning when Boston was winning 4-3 the Texecutioner rose to the occasion (like he has many times in his career as a Yankee) and hit a solo home run. The Yankees gained the momentum back and won after Brian McCann flied out allowing Chase Headley to score. Oh and not that I am counting or anything (lies) but that was his 21st homerun of the season. Who else on this team can say that? Just waking up? You missed it? Read WELL, HONK MY HOOTER!
A) We don't have much to trade with
B) The higher levels of our farm system are a train wreck so we are not ready to promote from within
C) More players are increasingly choosing not to come here.
So members of the jury, find me the smarter, immediate fix and I will get my client to sign a plea bargain!
Lastly, before I rest my case I would like to remind all members of the jury and the prosecution that my client has already admitted to the fact that he is aging and is overpaid. Have we forgotten THIS admission? That comes right from the source ladies and gentlemen. He has nothing to hide and he is not in denial. The fact of the matter is the Yankees made the offer and he accepted it. There is no going back. No one likes a quitter. You want Tex to walk away from his team to "save some money" let me ask you....how would THAT make him a great Yankee or change the situation the Yankees are in now? It doesn't. In all, the Yankees are still a disappointing, lack luster offensive team no matter how you stack the lineup and that truly pains me to say.
So ladies and gentlemen of the jury, while I feel confident that given the history of baseball in general and the disappointing season as a whole that the Yankees have had this deserves an acquittal. I realize that as Yankee fans we are too passionate to come to that unanimous decision. At the very least, we have a hung jury here because we can sit here and rattle off a million things that are wrong with this team, and we will all have different ideas. In fact, I can say with confidence that all of us will we back here in the Bleeding Yankee Blue court of law during the off season, but until then let's just say case dismissed!
--Jeana Bellezza, BYB Senior Writer and Editor
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