THE AUTOMATIC OUTS

Austin Wells played in just 13 games this August — and two of those weren’t even real starts, just late-game defensive substitutions. Translation: he’s been demoted to backup status. Why? Because he stinks. Let’s call it what it is. The guy’s hitting .209. That’s not just bad, that’s “why are you even in the lineup?” bad.

And listen, I hate ripping on Yankees players because I bleed pinstripes, but enough is enough. When you keep trotting out Austin Wells and Anthony Volpe every single day — two guys who’ve been automatic outs all month — you’re not just hurting the lineup, you’re throwing away the season. That’s on Aaron Boone. That’s on Brian Cashman. And that’s on the analytics nerds who convinced everyone that these guys were “projected stars.”

Spoiler alert: the projections are garbage. Those spreadsheets aren’t helping us win now. This isn’t Moneyball, this is Miseryball.

Meanwhile, Ben Rice has literally had to take the reins at catcher because Wells has been so underwhelming. That alone tells you everything about why this team is in chaos. The Yankees are confused, misguided, and inconsistent. The players can’t find a rhythm, the lineup changes daily, and the season’s spiraling.

And yet, here’s Wells — the guy hitting .209 — telling NJ Advance Media this week:

“If we’re looking at the catching, I’m one of the best catchers in the league.”

I mean… what? No, Austin, you’re not. If you were one of the best, you’d be hitting .280 and starting every day. You wouldn’t need Rice splitting your workload in August. You wouldn’t be whining about “wear and tear.” And you definitely wouldn’t have had that brutal baserunning blunder in July when you literally forgot how many outs there were. You’re not running the show, you’re slowing it down.

Here’s the thing: if we’re just talking framing pitches, sure, Wells is solid. But a big-league catcher has to be well-rounded. Ask Yogi Berra. Hell, Wells isn’t even Dale Berra right now.

Meanwhile, Ben Rice — at just 26 — has quietly emerged as a real asset. The guy’s got 18 homers, 21 doubles, 45 RBIs, and an .807 OPS in his first full season. He’s hitting .242 — which might not be elite, but compared to Wells’ .209? It’s Babe Ruth numbers.

I don’t care what Billy Beane or Bill James tries to sell you — batting average matters. And Wells doesn’t have it.

If the Yankees actually want to win games, they need to bench Wells. Honestly, bench Volpe too while you’re at it. Both are black holes in the lineup, and their defense isn’t bailing them out either.

It’s August 24th. We’re on the verge of getting swept by the Red Sox. The Blue Jays are looming. The season’s circling the drain. And yet, Boone keeps rolling out Wells and Volpe like it’s a science experiment.

It’s not working. It hasn’t worked. And unless something changes fast, this team’s going to miss the playoffs because they trusted the wrong numbers, the wrong players, and the wrong manager.

The Bronx deserves better.