REPORT: THE YANKEES SIGNED A 13-YEAR-OLD

Who the hell is in charge of this ridiculous team?

If this story is actually true, then congratulations to the New York Yankees front office: you’ve officially chased me off the bandwagon. I’m done pretending this is a serious organization run by serious adults.

We just sat through an entire offseason where the Yankees refused to sign a proven Major League player — you know, someone with an actual résumé — because they were allegedly being “smart” and “responsible” with their money. No reckless deals. No foolish spending. Very noble. Very forward-thinking. Very “trust us.”

And then — when fans finally snapped because this team made zero meaningful moves to win in 2026 — the Yankees responded by signing a 13-year-old.

Yes. Thirteen.

Middle school. Book reports. Growth spurts. Algebra homework.

That’s the plan.

This franchise, worth billions, with championship expectations, has decided the solution is to gamble seven million dollars on a kid who won’t be legally old enough to rent a car until roughly the time they hope he might help them win. They’re not trying to win now. They’re not even pretending to. The Yankees are aiming for relevance eight to ten years from now based on a guess. A guess about a teenager.

For the love of God, you can’t even project how a 13-year-old will play next year, let alone in eight.

According to Wilbur Sanchez, an MLB analyst who covers international prospects, the Yankees have reached a pre-agreement with Albert Mejías, a Venezuelan prospect from the 2030 class, for a record-setting $7 million bonus. Sanchez calls him “the best player in the history of the international market” and claims he could play professional baseball right now.

Right. Sure. And Anthony Volpe is “elite,” according to Aaron Boone — despite never playing college ball, being rushed through the minors, and routinely sucking the oxygen out of the lineup. Forgive me if I no longer treat Yankee scouting hype like gospel.

This isn’t confidence. It’s delusion.

History screams at us that this stuff goes wrong all the time. The Giants once gave Lucius Fox $6 million as a teenage shortstop. He played ten Major League games. Ten. Injuries wrecked him, and he became a career minor leaguer.

And Yankees fans should know this better than anyone. Remember Brien Taylor? Number one overall pick. Record bonus. High school phenom. Untouchable. Until one fight ruined his shoulder and his career evaporated. Gone. Just like that.

That’s the point: money doesn’t just “not matter.” It complicates everything. Injuries happen. Bodies change. Life happens. Kids grow up. Seven million dollars doesn’t come with a crystal ball.

I’m not saying this kid won’t work out. I’m saying anything can happen between 13 years old and the Major Leagues — and betting the franchise’s direction on that timeline while ignoring the present is organizational malpractice.

The deal is stupid. The logic is broken. The priorities are upside down.

The Yankees didn’t fail to improve because they couldn’t. They failed because they chose not to — and then had the audacity to sell this as some master plan. This team is making the wrong moves, over and over, with no urgency, no accountability, and apparently no one watching.

That’s what bothers me most.

Not the kid.
Not the money.
But the unmistakable feeling that the people running this franchise have completely lost the plot — and no one is being fired for it.

I'm over the Yankees front office. They are morons and not even Michael Kay, the Yankees apologist, can defend this.