AND WE'RE BACK TO LOOKING FOR A "MARKETPLACE" THIRD BASEMAN AGAIN

Ah yes, the New York Yankees—masters of the mixed signals, architects of fan frustration, and eternal keepers of my blood pressure problems. It's enough to drive you to drink. No, wait a minute, I already drink! 

Just recently, team mouthpiece Aaron Boone tried to calm the masses by suggesting that the Yankees would be looking internally to fill their infield needs. Translation: DJ LeMahieu, Oswaldo Cabrera, or Oswald Peraza will get their shot at third base, while Jazz Chisholm (in this hypothetical universe where logic reigns) would play his natural position at second. Crisis averted, right?

Wrong.

Enter Brian Cashman, the human embodiment of the plot twist no one asked for. The moment he mutters “the marketplace” on the YES Network, everything gets thrown into chaos again. And that, my friends, is how we find ourselves once more talking about—deep sigh—Nolan Arenado.

Cashman’s latest soundbite? A classic:

“I don’t know how it’s going to play out... I do think we can have one of these candidates emerge or multiple guys emerge into a platoon situation at worst, or a solo shot at best. If not, there’s always the marketplace to play around with as we move forward, too.”

Oh boy. Translation: the door is still open for the Yankees to snag a veteran, Gold Glove third baseman.

And wouldn’t you know it? The Arenado trade rumors are back from the dead like a horror movie villain that just won’t stay gone. The Yankees already kicked the tires on him earlier this offseason, but those talks cooled off—probably because Arenado, who turns 34 in April, is still owed a cool $74 million and holds a full no-trade clause. Oh, and he’s already turned down a deal to the Astros (so at least he has good taste).

The Red Sox are reportedly in on him too, which means if the Yankees do want him, they’ll need to get creative—AKA pay down a chunk of that salary. And because nothing in Yankee-land is ever simple, ESPN’s Buster Olney reports that Arenado is “highly motivated” to be traded.

As for the latest rejected deal? The Yankees reportedly offered Marcus Stroman straight-up for Arenado, and the Cardinals flatly refused. That tracks. The Yankees are still desperately trying to offload Stroman’s $18.5 million salary before adding more payroll, but hey—why keep things simple when you can make them as convoluted as possible?

This, ladies and gentlemen, is why the Yankees drive me absolutely insane.