Tuesday, July 16, 2013

HOME RUN DERBY 2013: CESPEDES & THE ROOSTER BOY

Homers. Dingers. Rockets. Lasers. Blasts. Goners. Upper Deckers. Jacks. Shots. Whambleblams. Oppo Tacos. Yes, that last one is a thing. Take it up with the Angels.


There is just something special about home runs. We all love to watch them. The whole point of the Derby is to give fans a show of awesomeness that no other sport can duplicate. We look forward to this every year.

Pitbull opened up with a song that sounded to me like every other Pitbull song except it sampled “Take On Me" by A-Ha. Is it me or is the guy looking more and more like Yul Brynner in “The Magnificent Seven?"

That’s not a bad thing.

Presentation was spiffy. Nice montage of New York hitters knocking dingers, including Piazza’s emotional knock after 9/11. They finished with that, rightly enough, but the Yankees were represented well too.

Prince Fielder killed the second and third pitches he saw for absolute monster shots, the latter going a projected 548 feet. He launched another tower of a shot that bounced off the roof of an impromptu TV studio for 424 feet. He finished with 5 long bombs. Not enough for him to be Three Time Derby Champion. This year, at least.

Michael Cuddyer got two fast shots as well, just missing one of the two trucks in center. It seemed like he was running out of gas when he decided to tack on 5 more shots to left and finish with 7, getting him to the second round.


Yoenis Cespedes, in his first Derby appearance, promptly began littering the upper deck with baseballs, and knocked one off of the scoreboard for good measure. The Cuban native brought fans to their feet time and time again, ringing up tater after moonshot. David Ortiz put in a word about how incredible it was to watch Cespedes take BP.

Big Papi brought Cespedes a drink at the 12-Homer mark, and the 27 year old told Ortiz he would take it easy from there on in. His idea of “taking it easy" was to swat 5 more runs, finishing with 17. Incredibly, 12 of those were over 400 feet! Needless to say, Yoenis was in the driver’s seat.

Pedro Alvarez went next, the first hitter for the NL. He had a tough act to follow, and television coverage was divided between his swings and interviewing Cespedes. Alvarez still put on a respectable display, getting 6 Big Pokes, one going for 461 feet.

Chris Davis is having a career year and he showed why with some very high, very long home runs. An early favorite to win it all, Davis finished with 8 Taters, getting him to the second round.


Bryce Harper and his ridiculous haircut came next. His father Ron pitched him a steady diet of cut fastballs, and Harper logged 8 Big Flies. Impressive, considering he swung at cutters. Even more impressive considering he looked like Rooster Boy from that old Kids in the Hall skit.

I am surprised his father didn’t bean him for looking like such a punk, and yes, you can get off my lawn now. Anyway, “Rooster Boy" made it to the next round.




Next up was our man, Robinson Cano. After posting a goose egg in last year’s Derby, it was nice to see Robbie quickly ring up 3 in short order. It was also nice to see Mariano Rivera get interviewed during Robbie’s cuts. It wasn’t nice to see Robbie only add one more for a total of 4 runs. He did better than last year, but his first run established that. Sigh.

David Wright finished Round One. He surpassed Cano’s run total, but only by one. The NL Captain finished his night at 5.

Mike Piazza showed up at the media booth to watch Michael Cuddyer just miss the truck again while notching 8 more runs for a total of 15. Chris Davis followed with 4 long bombs, but wasn’t getting near the mark set by Cespedes. He was done for the night with a total of 12. Next came “Rooster Boy" Bryce Harper, passing Cuddyer’s total with 16 runs to advance to the final round.

Yoenis Cespedes stepped back to the plate and continued to shower outfield fans with baseballs. He won a truck, hit the restaurant window, smacked a $23,000 gold ball, and added 6 runs for a total of 23. He would face Rooster Boy in the finals, both of them starting from scratch.

Harper started off the final round. Why nobody from the AL tried to distract him with chicken feed is beyond me. Rooster Boy knocked 8 runs, exactly the same number he got in the previous two rounds. Rooster Boy may look silly, but he’s consistent and talented. And he set a high bar for Yoenis.

No problem for Cespedes. He continued to casually smack the dickens out of Mr. Rawlings, easily reaching 400+ feet, into the upper deck, and wherever he felt like putting the ball. He tied Rooster Boy with a jaw dropper that the restaurant got in the way of, with only 5 of his outs used. He won it with a 455 shot to center.


Great Home Run Derby this year. Lots of terrific towers and humbling homers. Yoenis Cespedes handily won the Derby, cruising to victory despite an impressive challenge from Bryce Harper.

Which is good, because I didn’t want the guy winning the Derby be the guy resembling loud-mouthed poultry.

Your 2013 Home Run Derby Winner, Yoenis Cespedes with 32 total home runs.


Chad R. MacDonald
BYB Writer
Facebook: New York Yankees the Home of Champions
My Blog: ChadRants




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