Sunday, April 28, 2013


 “You know, except for that mustache, you look just like my mother.”

“But I don’t have a mustache.”

“Yes, but my mother does!”

It’s time for a mustache ride! Baseball and nose beards have gone hand in hand forever. There are so many great players known for their skills and facial hair. And there are many more players known for just their facial hair. Here are some of the best known mustaches in baseball, and therefore the world…

Don Mattingly.

Our own Donnie Baseball came to be known for his trademark crumb catcher. Donnie B’s look beats out even Mike Schmidt and (of course) Bill Buckner. Tom Selleck based his look for the movie “Mr Baseball” on Don. Okay, no, Selleck based his look on himself but had the same thing goin’ on as Don.

Mattingly was famously chewed out for his whiskers by Mr Burns on The Simpsons, who considered them sideburns. Donnie then commented how he liked Burns better than Steinbrenner.

Travis Snider.
Travis isn’t particularly known for his talent but he once grew a peach-fuzzfest memorable for its sad yet endearing hold on life, when Snider should have really pulled the plug. He made our next candidate look awesome in comparison…

Joba Chamberlain.
As it was memorialized on a Facebook Yankee fan page last week, “Joba Chamberlain is warming in the bullpen. Joba’s mustache is not.” Sadly, Joba has taken such good natured ribbing about his cookie duster seriously, and has dispatched of it. Boo.

Pretty much all of the late eighties Minnesota Twins…

(In Photo: Frank Viola)

Tom Brunansky had a lip shadow.

Alvaro Espinoza had a face lace.

Craig Kusick had a tea strainer.

I know Minnesota can be crisp, temperature-wise, but there must have been a similar clause to the Yankees restrictive facial hair policy. Mustache required, perhaps. Well they got a Championship out of it at least.

Speaking of the Yankees “mustache only” facial hair policy, we will now take the opportunity to call David Price a big chicken for his “no shaves till Brooklyn” philosophy. Grow a pair, Price! A pair of handlebars!

Then there are the Fu Manchus! Manchi?

Rod Beck.

Dennis Eckersley.

And “Mad Hungarian” Al Hrabosky.

We cannot forget Goose Gossage.

This ‘stache was singular to Goose and Goose alone. Nobody else could or would dare to trespass upon this individual accomplishment of awesome upper lipholstery. Only one was more impressive, and that could only have been…

Rollie Fingers.

Please. Like there would be another World Champion. His grass grin could literally take your eye out.

Now as much as I would love to stay and chat, I really mustache.

I thank yeeewwwwwww…

Chad R. MacDonald
BYB Writer
Facebook: New York Yankees the Home of Champions
My Blog: ChadRants

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