JAPANESE ACE IN THE MIX FOR THE YANKEES, MAYBE

The Los Angeles Dodgers are flexing their financial muscles in the international signing bonus pool game, sitting atop the leaderboard with $2,502,500 to spend. The Yankees, meanwhile, have a more modest $1,487,200 at their disposal. And in this high-stakes competition for Japanese phenom Roki Sasaki, every dollar matters.

Sasaki, a 23-year-old pitching sensation, is the talk of MLB—basically Shohei Ohtani without the hitting. I know, I'm being dramatic. He’s considered an international amateur free agent, meaning he’s bound by MLB rules that cap international bonus pools and limit him to a minor league deal since he’s under 25 and hasn’t logged six seasons in Japan’s NPB. Those rules suppress his earning potential now, but if Sasaki had waited two more years, he’d likely be staring down a nine-figure payday. Timing, as they say, is everything.

The Dodgers are widely considered the favorites to land Sasaki. Not only do they have the biggest bonus pool this year, but their 2025 cap of $5.1 million gives them serious leverage. And rumors are swirling—reported by The Athletic—that Sasaki might already have an unwritten agreement to join the Dodgers. These whispers have even reached MLB’s commissioner’s office and Dodgers brass, though nobody’s spilling the beans publicly.  Don't worry though, Sasaki's agent Joel Wolfe came out and said quote: "A bunch of executives who should know me better and do a lot of business with me insult my integrity by insinuating that I would be a park of some type of nefarious agreement. In reality, it's just poor sportsmanship." Damn, you gotta respect that he came out hard against the accusation.

The Yankees? Well, Hal Steinbrenner says Sasaki is a “tremendous pitcher” but admitted the team hasn’t had “any real discussions” about potential Japanese postings yet. Translation: They’re interested but not exactly leading the charge. And then there are the Mets, who could also make a play for Sasaki. Owner Steve Cohen has shown he’s not shy about opening his wallet, and pairing Sasaki with Kodai Senga might just make the Mets a dark horse in this race.

As a guy who writes for the regular MLB rules, I’ll openly admit international rules make my head spin. All these bonus pools, caps, and restrictions are a labyrinth, so forgive me if I’ve oversimplified things. What’s clear, though, is that Sasaki has many teams scrambling—and whoever wins this sweepstakes will walk away with a potential franchise ace.

WILLY ADAMES? YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!

Bob Nightengale of USA Today is back, tossing offseason spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks. This time, he’s stirring up the Yankees rumor mill, throwing out a scenario so convoluted it feels like a fever dream. If the Yankees don’t re-sign Juan Soto—because apparently, that’s an option—they might respond with a mad scramble to:

1.Sign free-agent first baseman Christian Walker.

2.Bring in either Willy Adames or Alex Bregman to play third base.
3.Move Jazz Chisholm to second base.
4.Trade for Cody Bellinger.

Simple.

It’s like one of those overcomplicated heist movies where you lose track of the plot halfway through. Classic Bob Nightengale. 

Let’s cut through the noise: there’s no real traction to this Adames-to-the-Yankees idea. It’s speculation, pure and simple, and Bob’s good at that. But hey, it’s fun to imagine. Maybe next Trevor Bauer will go to the Mets.

Willy Adames is coming off a solid year and would be a fantastic addition to any team. He’s one of the best power-hitting shortstops in the game and has said he’d prefer to stay at shortstop. However, he’s also open to shifting to third base if needed—versatility that makes him a tantalizing target for teams like the Yankees or Mets apparently.

For the Brewers, losing Adames wouldn't be great. Not only is he a key player, but he’s also a leader in the clubhouse according to reports. I don't know the Brewers well, but that's the way it seems. 

Adames has hinted he’d take a hometown discount to stay in Milwaukee—but only to a point. As he told The Athletic: "I’m willing to stay here for less money, let’s say, but I just want to be fair for what I deserve in my career. We just have to wait and see where we’re at."

And now we get to the voice of reason: Jeff Passan. When Passan speaks, baseball fans listen. He’s right up there with Jack Curry and Pete Caldera—arguably the top three baseball reporters out there. While Nightengale’s rumors are like a fast-food drive-thru, Passan is the five-star restaurant of insight.

In his offseason preview, Passan doesn’t just toss Adames at the Yankees for fun. Instead, he points to the Giants as the most logical landing spot. With new president of baseball operations Buster Posey prioritizing the shortstop position, the fit is almost too good to ignore.

Sure, Passan acknowledges the Yankees, Mets, and Dodgers could be in the mix, especially with Adames’ willingness to move to third base. But Passan’s call of Adames to San Francisco? That’s the kind of grounded, well-sourced prediction that makes sense.

So, could the Yankees swoop in and snag Adames? Anything’s possible, but this feels more like Bob Nightengale playing offseason DJ, spinning hypothetical hits. Meanwhile, Jeff Passan is the guy calmly taking the pulse of the market—and if he’s leaning toward the Giants, I’m buying it.

It's just how I feel, sorry Bob.

HA-SEONG KIM WOULD BE A GOOD GET FOR THE YANKEES

Let’s be honest: Ha-Seong Kim isn’t the kind of name that sells jerseys or gets people arguing on sports radio, but maybe it should be. Kim isn’t a superstar, but he’s the type of player every team needs—versatile, reliable, and quietly excellent. Credit to Empire Sports Media for being ahead of the curve here—they floated the idea of Kim to the Yankees, and honestly, it’s brilliant.

Kim, fresh off opting out of the last year of his four-year, $28 million deal with the Padres, is the definition of a hidden gem. At 29, he’s an elite defender who can play shortstop, second, or third base without breaking a sweat. He’s a baserunning menace and sneaky good at the plate, grinding out patient at-bats and racking up Offensive Runs like it’s nobody’s business. In fact, despite playing fewer games, Kim managed more Offensive Runs in 2024 than Gleyber Torres. Over the last three seasons, he’s just a smidge behind Torres in value while playing 30 fewer games.

The Yankees could really use someone like Kim. Let’s not sugarcoat it: their infield defense has been more “meh” than memorable, and Kim would lock it down. His glove would save runs, his speed would generate chaos, and his ability to not strike out constantly? A refreshing change. Plus, his bat fits perfectly at the bottom of the lineup, where he could move runners and keep rallies alive instead of just swinging for the fences.

But here’s the catch: the Yankees haven’t been linked to him or anything that we know of. Meanwhile, teams like the Dodgers, Giants, and Blue Jays are circling Kim like he’s the last pizza slice at a party. The Dodgers like him. He’s tailor-made for their lineup and signing him would let Mookie Betts stay in right field, where he crushed it in 2024.

And let’s be honest; competing with the Dodgers is no easy task. They’re basically the Yankees of old, spending big and landing everyone they want, while Hal Steinbrenner keeps pinching pennies. It’s tough out there for us Yankees fans.

If the Yankees want to get back on track, we could use a guy like Kim. He won’t break the bank, but he’ll bring elite defense, steady offense, and enough versatility to make a real difference. It’s a no-brainer—just ask Empire Sports Media, I tip my cap.

I wonder if the Yanks regret making this move. Stay tuned!

Go Yanks.

THE YANKEE MOVE NO ONE SAW COMING!

In the first surprise of the season, Trent Grisham is back. It's definitely not the move I was expecting. Clearly, the Yankees like Grisham more than I thought and Grisham liked being a Yankee more than I expected also.

While we are all of Juan Soto watch, the Yankees made another move for the outfield. Grisham is a Yankees again, read more HERE (at least for now) and the Yankees got him cheaper than what he probably would've earned in arbitration. He was predicted to earn a raise to $5.7 million, but he's back for $5 million instead. So, I guess the Yankees scored some savings and Grisham liked the Bronx enough to leave money on the table.

We knew the Yankees were going to add an outfielder to their bench, I just assumed Grisham wouldn't be the choice. Leave it to Brian Cashman and his interesting decisions again. The Yankees value his defense, even though he had some missteps that really stood out at times. The biggest one that comes to mind was against the Cincinnati Reds where he badly mis-read a late game single and the baseball rolled up his arm and allowed a soft blooper into a double.

I have several friends who call Grisham a "clutch" hitter, and while I admit he had some nice moments they were very few and far between. Also, I just can't call a guy with a .190 BA "clutch." If he was clutch, he would've seen some October action, but he didn't have any postseason action.

It's certainly an interesting move. It's one I do struggle with a bit. I know Alex Verdugo didn't have a consistent season, but he started the season off hot and ended up having a fairly clutch October while Grisham faded into the background. I loved his intensity in the outfield and thought he was just a good fit for the team. If the Yankees were looking to bring back only one outfielder back, I would've banked on Verdugo over Grisham. It just doesn't make a lot of sense.

Maybe it doesn't have to right now. Just because the Yankees have him on the roster now, doesn't mean they will come Spring Training. Other teams will likely have interest in Grisham at $5 million later. There's some trade strategy here, so it could be worse.

I just really thought this would be an easy call to not keep him going into next season. Boy was I wrong.

--Jeana Bellezza-Ochoa

BYB Senior Managing Editor

Twitter: @nyprincessj

THOSE CHRISTIAN WALKER-YANKEE RUMORS SWIRLING

The Yankees are reportedly among the teams interested in free-agent first baseman Christian Walker, according to USA Today’s Bob Nightengale. However, it seems they are evaluating whether Walker would be the right fit for their roster and overall offseason strategy.  Also, take into account that Nightengale is going with this, so I am always a little cautious with him, no offense Bob.

Walker, a right-handed slugger with consistent offensive production, posted 26 home runs in 2024 and has tallied 95 homers with an .813 OPS over the last three seasons. While his power numbers are solid, they fall just short of those posted by Pete Alonso, another first baseman who remains on the Yankees' radar. Alonso has hit 120 homers with an .826 OPS over the same span, giving him a slight edge offensively. However, Walker brings significant defensive value to the table, having won three consecutive Gold Gloves and solidifying himself as one of the best defenders at his position.

The Yankees like what Walker offers but appear to be weighing whether his potential fit aligns with their larger goals this offseason. At 33 years old, Walker is likely seeking a short-term contract, reportedly in the range of three years and $60 million. While this would provide the team with flexibility compared to a longer commitment, it also raises questions about whether a short-term deal makes sense for the Yankees' current needs.

There’s no denying Walker’s talent and versatility, but the Yankees are clearly being thoughtful in their approach. Balancing payroll flexibility, roster construction, and long-term competitiveness is a complex equation, and Walker’s candidacy is just one piece of the puzzle. The team will need to decide if his combination of steady offense and elite defense justifies the investment, or if another option—whether Alonso or a different solution—better fits their vision.

For now, reports are the Yankees are keeping their options open, carefully considering how Walker might contribute to their pursuit of championship contention.

Stay tuned.

WOULD THE YANKEES TARGET PAUL GOLDSCHMIDT?

The Yankees are no strangers to bold moves and high-risk signings, so it’s no shocker that whispers are swirling about seven-time All-Star and 2022 NL MVP Paul Goldschmidt possibly manning first base in the Bronx come 2025. But before we roll out the red carpet, let’s dig into what this really means—because as Yankees fans, we’ve learned to hope for a parade but prepare for a circus.

Goldschmidt’s résumé is undeniable. His 2022 season was video-game good: .317/.404/.578, 35 home runs, 41 doubles, and 115 RBIs. He was the engine of the Cardinals’ lineup and looked every bit the MVP. But here’s the catch—2022 feels like ancient history in baseball terms. His last two seasons have been… let’s call them “fine,” but not exactly “flashy billboard in Times Square” material. At 37, he’s no spring chicken, and while the Yankees have been known to bet on experience, sometimes those bets age about as well as milk.

Still, the timing isn’t crazy. The Cardinals are reportedly ready to move on from Goldy, opting for a “reset” in 2025. His $130 million contract expires at the end of the season, making him a free agent. For a team like the Yankees, always chasing October glory and occasionally forgetting about November regret, a short-term, cost-effective deal could be appealing. Maybe a one-year, $10 million pact? That’s pocket change for Hal Steinbrenner’s wallet—barely enough to cover the electricity bill for Yankee Stadium’s floodlights.

But let’s be real: is this the guy to solve the Yankees’ first-base problem? If Rizzo hangs up his cleats or opts for a quieter life full of golden retrievers and pasta, Goldschmidt could bring a steady glove and some veteran poise. On the other hand, the Yankees have been burned before by aging stars with shiny pasts. (Hello, 2005 Randy Johnson. Hi, Jacoby Ellsbury. We see you, Carl Pavano.)

And what about his bat? In Yankee Stadium, where lefties thrive with that tantalizing short porch, Goldschmidt’s right-handed swing might not translate into the 30-homer season fans dream of. Could he still drive in runs? Sure. But will he silence the inevitable boos by mid-June if he’s batting .240? Unlikely.

Then there’s the clubhouse factor. Goldschmidt has always been a consummate professional, the type of player who lets his bat do the talking. That kind of steady presence could be valuable in a locker room that sometimes feels like it’s one loss away from a reality TV meltdown. But is he dynamic enough to bring the spark this team needs?

At best, Goldschmidt is a low-cost, high-upside addition—a potential 2025 redemption story who helps the Yankees navigate Soto’s theoretical megadeal without completely blowing up the payroll. At worst, he’s the latest in a long line of former stars who make their farewell tour in pinstripes feel more like a farewell plod.

So, could Goldschmidt be the Yankees’ first baseman in 2025? Absolutely. Should we be cautiously optimistic? Sure. Will we be holding our breath? Only when he’s running out a double. Whatever happens, this is the Yankees we’re talking about—hope for the best, expect the bizarre, and prepare to cheer like crazy either way.

ALTERNATIVE TO SOTO? THE YANKEES HAVE ONE

The Yankees are in a familiar offseason dilemma: go all-in on a superstar like Juan Soto or make a smarter, more practical move with Anthony Santander. Soto is the flashy choice, no doubt—a generational talent who turns heads at the plate. But Santander? He’s no slouch, coming off a career-best season with 44 home runs and 102 RBIs. Plus, his switch-hitting power and defensive reliability make him an ideal fit for Yankee Stadium and its notorious short porch.

Here’s the kicker: Santander is also affordable. While Soto’s price tag will likely soar north of $500 million, Santander is projected to command a reasonable $19 million per year over five years. That leaves the Yankees room to address other glaring needs, rather than betting the farm on one player and crossing their fingers. 

Soto is incredible, sure, but he doesn’t pitch or play multiple positions, and the Yankees aren’t exactly flush with roster depth right now.

And let’s not ignore Santander’s proven durability and his comfort with the AL East grind. The guy’s spent years battling the Yankees, Red Sox, and Rays—he’s not going to wilt under the pressure of the Bronx spotlight. Soto? He’s a star, but he’s also coming with sky-high expectations, and anything short of perfection will have fans questioning the price tag.

The Yankees could wait on Soto’s decision, but that’s a dangerous game. Santander won’t stay on the market forever, and missing out on him to hold out for Soto could leave the Yankees empty-handed. They need impact players, not just marquee names, and Santander offers real value without the financial acrobatics Soto demands.

Sure, Soto is the dream scenario. But sometimes, dreams come with nightmarish costs. Santander, on the other hand, is the type of move that builds a well-rounded team—exactly what the Yankees need to get back to October baseball. Spending smarter, not flashier, could be the difference between competing and just making headlines.

What will happen next in this crazy Soto Sweepstakes! Stay tuned.

ORIOLES ARE TRYING TO LOCK IN CLAY HOLMES

The Baltimore Orioles are trying to patch up their bullpen after another postseason meltdown, and guess who they’ve got their eye on? Clay Holmes. That’s right—our Clay Holmes. According to MLB.com’s Mark Feinsand, the Orioles are sniffing around Holmes like a dog at a picnic, and honestly, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. On one hand, good for Clay; on the other hand, what are we even doing here if he ends up in Baltimore AND HE'S GOOD AGAIN?

Now, let me be clear: I like Clay Holmes. I’ve always liked Clay Holmes. Sure, he wasn’t perfect—13 blown saves will test anyone’s patience—but he always showed up, did what he was asked, and, when he was on, he was lights out. He gave us some huge moments this season, and even when things went sideways, you could tell he cared. Holmes isn’t one of those guys who shrugs off a bad outing—he feels it, and that’s why I rooted for him.

But the idea of Holmes in Orioles orange? Interesting. It’s like finding out your ex is dating someone you hate—someone who lives next door and blasts terrible music at all hours. Picture this: Yankee Stadium, bottom of the ninth, and here comes Clay Holmes out of the visitors’ bullpen, looking calm, collected, and ready to mow down our lineup. And then... he does it! Do you know how awkward that would be? 

Look, I get it. Baltimore needs bullpen help. After another October where they folded faster than a cheap lawn chair, they’re desperate. And Clay Holmes is exactly the kind of guy they’d want—an All-Star in two of the past three seasons, a high-leverage arm with a track record of getting big outs. Sure, he struggled late in 2024, but who didn’t? The Orioles see potential, and they’re not wrong. If they sign him and he rebounds, they’ll look like geniuses. And we’ll look like chumps.

Here’s the worst part: we all know how this script goes. Holmes goes to Baltimore, figures it out, and starts locking down saves like he’s Mariano Rivera. Suddenly, he’s the guy we were all hoping for—just not for us. Instead, he’s slamming the door on the Yankees in big games while Orioles fans pretend they always believed in him too. You think it was tough watching Nathan Eovaldi carve us up in Texas? Just wait until Clay Holmes does it in our own division.

So yeah, this would suck. Big time. I like Holmes, I really do. But the thought of him pitching for Baltimore? That would suck, especially if he's lights out.

REMEMBERING THAT ITALIAN YANKEE... JOE PEPITONE

Joe Pepitone wasn’t the greatest Yankee to ever don the pinstripes, but he may have been one of the most unforgettable. A Brooklyn-born local with a personality that could light up the Bronx, Pepitone brought style, swagger, and a whole lot of fun to the game. For fans of the Yankees in the 1960s, he wasn’t just a player; he was an experience.

Nicknamed “Pepi,” Pepitone burst onto the scene in 1962, a charismatic kid with a slick glove, a sweet left-handed swing, and a smile that could charm an umpire. He wasn’t just playing baseball; he was putting on a show. While the Yankees’ glory days were fading, Pepitone gave fans something to talk about, both on and off the field.

Pepitone’s talent wasn’t just flash — he could play. After a solid rookie campaign in 1962, he took over first base from Yankees mainstay Bill “Moose” Skowron in 1963. That season, Pepitone batted .271 with 27 home runs and 89 RBIs. He followed it up with a 100-RBI season in 1964, earning three straight All-Star nods from 1963 to 1965. His defense was even better: Pepitone snagged three Gold Gloves for his stellar play at first base.

But for all his talent, Joe wasn’t destined to be a cornerstone player. The Yankees of the ’60s were in decline, and Pepitone’s game couldn’t quite carry them back to their former glory. Still, he gave fans moments to remember — both dazzling and maddening.

Pepitone had his share of highlights on baseball’s biggest stage. In the 1964 World Series, he delivered a grand slam in Game 6 against the St. Louis Cardinals, a shining moment in an otherwise frustrating series. But just a year earlier, in the 1963 World Series, his infamous error in Game 4 cost the Yankees dearly. Losing a routine throw in the sunlit chaos of the Los Angeles crowd led to the Dodgers’ winning run — and the Yankees being swept.

That was Pepitone in a nutshell: flashes of brilliance mixed with moments of chaos.

If Joe Pepitone wasn’t dominating the headlines for his play, he was doing it for his antics. He was the first Yankee to bring a hair dryer into the clubhouse, a move that scandalized the old-school veterans and delighted everyone else. His perfectly poufy hair, often aided by a toupee, was the stuff of legend.

And then there were the nights out. Pepitone was a regular at New York’s hottest clubs, from the Copacabana to late-night haunts, where he basked in the spotlight. He wasn’t just playing baseball; he was living the life. Before Joe Namath became the poster boy for New York cool, Pepitone was laying the groundwork as the city’s lovable rogue.

Pepitone’s star burned brightly, but it didn’t last. By the late 1960s, as the Yankees tumbled into mediocrity, his own performance plateaued. He still had power in his bat — belting 31 home runs in 1966 — but his batting average hovered in the mid-.240s, and his off-field escapades began to wear thin. In 1969, after leaving the team without permission, Pepitone’s time in New York came to an end.

He went on to play for the Astros, Cubs, and Braves, with flashes of the old Pepi charm but little of the magic that made him a New York icon.

For all his flaws, Pepitone’s connection with the fans never wavered. He wasn’t Mickey Mantle or Yogi Berra; he was Joe from Brooklyn. He had the kind of charisma that made people root for him even when he stumbled. Whether he was cracking jokes in the locker room, making a diving stop at first base, or buying a round of drinks for strangers at a club, Pepitone was unapologetically himself.

Unfortunately, his post-baseball life was marred by troubles, including a stint in prison in the 1980s. But even then, Pepitone’s name carried a certain charm, a reminder of a time when baseball was more than a business — it was entertainment.

Joe Pepitone may never be mentioned in the same breath as Ruth or Gehrig, but his legacy in Yankees lore is secure. He was a player who made baseball fun, a Bronx showman who could field a Gold Glove grounder and tell a Gold Glove joke in the same inning.

For those who saw him play, Pepitone was more than stats or highlights. He was the guy who made the game feel alive, who reminded everyone watching that baseball isn’t just about wins and losses — it’s about moments. And Joe Pepitone gave us plenty of those.

Here’s to Pepi, the Italian Yankee with a heart as big as his hair. Baseball, and the Yankees, were better because of him.

--Alvin Izzo
BYB Yankee History Contributor

A "BUEHLER TO THE YANKEES" RUMOR FROM A "BASEBALL INSIDER"

According to MLB Network insider Jon Morosi, there’s “some mutual interest” between the Yankees and Dodgers ace Walker Buehler. Now, before we all start designing mock-ups of Buehler in pinstripes, let’s remember this is the same Jon Morosi who told the world Shohei Ohtani was destined for the Blue Jays. Spoiler alert: Ohtani did not, in fact, end up in Toronto. So, while the idea of Buehler coming to the Bronx is exciting, maybe keep the champagne on ice for now.

Still, the thought of Buehler joining the Yankees is hard to ignore. The 30-year-old flamethrower is fresh off breaking Yankee hearts in the 2024 World Series, where he struck out Alex Verdugo to seal the Dodgers’ eighth championship. Buehler has ice in his veins and the kind of big-game pedigree that would make even Gerrit Cole nod in approval. Adding him to the Yankees’ rotation would be like finding an extra fry at the bottom of the bag—unexpected, glorious, and exactly what you need.

For the Yankees, this move makes all the sense in the world. Their rotation was a rollercoaster last season, and adding a bona fide ace like Buehler would bring much-needed stability. Plus, there’s talk that the Yankees could sign Buehler and flip someone like Nestor Cortes or Marcus Stroman in a trade, perhaps upgrading the rotation and replenishing their farm system at the same time. It’s the kind of savvy move Brian Cashman dreams about.

From Buehler’s perspective, the Yankees are an attractive option. He’s already rejected the Athletics, reportedly because they’ll be stuck playing in Sacramento for the next three years. Who could blame him? The bright lights of Yankee Stadium beat out a temporary ballpark situation every day of the week. The Yankees offer prestige, a winning culture, and a shot at more World Series rings—what’s not to love

While the idea of Buehler in the Bronx is mouthwatering, it’s hard to fully buy into the hype given Morosi’s recent track record. Let’s just say the Ohtani-to-Toronto saga has left us all a little wary. If the Yankees do land Buehler, it would be a game-changing move that reshapes the AL landscape.

Until then, keep dreaming, Yankees fans—but maybe don’t book your tickets for the Walker Buehler welcome parade just yet.

YANKEES SIGN THEIR UTILITY MAN

Pablo Reyes, who recently played for the enemy (both the Red Sox and Mets, no less), is now switching sides to join the Yankees. The 31-year-old utilityman signed a minor league deal with an invite to Spring Training, giving him a shot at playing in pinstripes in 2025.

Reyes debuted with the Pirates in 2018 and has since played 233 MLB games, hitting .248 with eight homers and 54 RBI. After a PED suspension in 2020, he bounced back, spending 2023 and 2024 splitting time between Boston, the Mets’ Triple-A squad, and the occasional highlight reel. While his numbers won’t make anyone forget Babe Ruth (.658 OPS in the Bigs, .864 in Triple-A last year), Reyes brings defensive versatility and a chance to add depth to the Yankees' roster.

With the Yankees dealing with injuries and inconsistency in recent years, Reyes might be called on sooner than expected. His ability to play multiple positions could make him a valuable plug-and-play option. And let’s face it—Yankees fans will enjoy reminding Red Sox fans that even their role players can’t resist the allure of the Bronx.

ALEX BREGMAN RUMBLINGS & I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH IT

Alex Bregman to the Yankees? Sure, why not just have Aaron Judge hand over his captaincy and the Yankees officially rename themselves the Bronx Turncoats while we’re at it? If there’s one thing Yankee fans hate more than losing to the Astros, it’s losing to the Astros because of a trash-can symphony. And Alex Bregman? He was front and center, banging the drum (or rather, benefiting from its banging), smugly smirking his way through the 2017 postseason while the Yankees were left wondering if they should’ve just brought their own garbage lids to Minute Maid Park.

Let’s face it: Yankee fans don’t just dislike Bregman—they despise him. He’s right up there with mosquitoes, traffic on the Cross Bronx, and Red Sox fans who won’t stop talking about 2004. Every time Bregman steps into Yankee Stadium, he’s serenaded with a chorus of boos so loud you’d think Taylor Swift just announced she hates the Yankees. Bringing him to the Bronx would be like hiring the Grinch to run SantaCon. It’s madness.

The mere thought of Bregman in pinstripes is enough to give Yankee fans hives. Sure, he’s a good third baseman. Gold Glove winner in 2024, great defensive metrics, solid bat. But does that really matter? Yankee fans don’t want to see his numbers; they want to see him hit by a pitch—preferably while a plane flies a banner over Yankee Stadium reading “2017 WAS A SHAM.”

And let’s not forget why. The Astros scandal wasn’t just any old scandal. It was the kind of betrayal that sticks with you, like spilling mustard on your Derek Jeter jersey. Yankee fans have been stewing in that betrayal for years, forced to relive it every time Houston comes to town and chants of “cheater” echo through the stands. Now, the Yankees are supposedly thinking about signing one of the scandal’s poster boys? Why stop there? Maybe bring back Carlos Beltrán and name him head of player ethics.

Imagine the first time Bregman steps up to the plate in pinstripes. The boos would rain down like they were auditioning for a horror movie. Yankee fans would need their vocal cords insured. The Bleacher Creatures would invent chants so brutal, even Philly fans would take notes. Someone might try to hurl a replica trash can onto the field.

And what about Bregman’s apology for the cheating scandal? Oh, yes, the heartfelt “I’m sorry” that came with all the sincerity of a politician denying a scandal. Yankee fans didn’t buy it then, and they sure won’t forget it now. This is a fanbase that holds grudges like they’re heirlooms. Goose Gossage still complains about pitch counts, for crying out loud.

Look, signing Bregman might make sense in some sterile baseball vacuum where numbers and metrics are all that matter. But this is the Yankees, where tradition, pride, and sticking it to Houston are sacred. Yankee fans don’t want a Gold Glove third baseman if it means they have to cheer for a guy they’ve spent years heckling. They want championships—but they want to win them their way. And that way doesn’t include welcoming an Astro, especially one as synonymous with the cheating scandal as Bregman.

So, sure, go ahead, Yankees. Sign Alex Bregman. Just don’t be surprised if, by Opening Day, the Bleacher Creatures are wearing Mets hats out of spite.