YANKEES JUST MADE A BIG MOVE ON A RIGHTY BAT!

In their never-ending quest to patch the Titanic with duct tape, the Yankees have added another piece to their ever-shifting puzzle: outfielder Austin Slater, acquired Wednesday morning from the White Sox in exchange for right-handed prospect Gage Ziehl, New York’s No. 18 prospect according to MLB Pipeline.

Photo: Gabe Ziehl

 And I’ll be honest with you — this move feels... off. Not bad. Not good. Just suspiciously meh.

Let’s start with the obvious. Aaron Judge is hurt. Again. A flexor strain in his right elbow landed him on the IL, and the Yankees already announced that when (or if) he returns, he’ll be used strictly as a designated hitter. Translation: Judge’s outfield glove is collecting dust, and the Yankees suddenly find themselves very left-handed out there — with Cody Bellinger, Trent Grisham, and Jasson Domínguez all batting from the left side (or switch-hitting in Jasson’s case, but still).

So in comes Austin Slater, whose claim to fame is being very okay against left-handed pitching. This year, he’s batting .261/.338/.522 vs. lefties, and if that sounds oddly specific, it’s because that’s literally the only reason the Yankees made this move. Against righties, you might as well hand him a pool noodle and wish him luck.

His overall OPS this season? .721. In the modern game, that’s... fine. You wouldn’t frame it and hang it in Cooperstown, but you also wouldn’t cut him mid-homestand. He’s a role player, a matchup tool, a warm body with a helmet and pulse.

Is that worth giving up Gage Ziehl? Eh. Maybe. Ziehl isn’t a blue-chip prospect, but he’s no throwaway either. He’s 22 years old, has a live arm, and went 5-4 with a 4.15 ERA and 70 strikeouts across three minor league levels this season. He’s exactly the kind of young pitcher teams trade when they’re trying to fill a short-term hole without making a long-term commitment.

 
But let’s not pretend this is some kind of game-changer. Slater’s not coming in to save the day. He’s coming in to be the guy you maybe remember had a clutch double in late August, if you remember anything at all. He’s here because the Yankees need a right-handed bat who might run into a fastball and probably won’t embarrass himself defensively.

Still, this move feels like a symptom, not a solution. The Yankees keep adding guys like they’re building a Frankenstein contender out of spare parts. Want a guy who can hit lefties? Here’s Slater. Want a lefty power bat? Here’s Bellinger. Want someone who can play the field without tripping over himself? Well... we’re still working on that.

This front office is trying to make the roster look balanced, when what it really needs is an identity — and maybe a functioning elbow for Aaron Judge.

In the end, Austin Slater is a decent insurance policy. But if this is the move that’s supposed to keep the Yankees’ October dreams alive, then we’re not dreaming — we’re delusional.

Nice bat, though. Against lefties.