I NEED MY GIANCARLO STANTON FIX, HOW ABOUT YOU?

Craving a Giancarlo Stanton update? Well, buckle up, because the latest scoop comes straight out of Cleveland, where Stanton made a surprise cameo at batting practice—and no, it wasn’t just to stretch his legs or admire Lake Erie.

The slugger, who's been navigating the scenic and frustrating route back from elbow epicondylitis—in both arms, because of course—finally took some swings on Tuesday. Yankees fans, starved for dingers and drama, were served at least one course of optimism. “I felt good,” Stanton said, strolling off the field like a man who just remembered how fun baseball can be. “The elbows are getting better.”

Progress? Yes. A return date? Not so much. While Giancarlo is inching his way toward the Bronx, there’s no calendar circle just yet. So don’t go pre-ordering your postseason Stanton jerseys—unless you like the suspense.

He still doesn't know when his rehab assignment will start. And given that he ghosted the entire preseason, he’ll need more than a couple at-bats to knock off the rust and find his swing (preferably the one that sends balls into orbit).

Look, the Yankees offense is fine, in that "we’re surviving but not thriving" kind of way. But when guys like Anthony "Mendoza" Volpe are swinging like they're auditioning for a role in a slapstick comedy, the lineup starts to look a little... patchy. Enter Stanton—the man, the myth, the muscle.

If we’re lucky, maybe we get a version of the guy who tore through the 2024 postseason with a .273 average, 7 bombs, 16 RBIs, and the kind of swagger that wins you an LCS MVP trophy. Or maybe we get a slightly less heroic Stanton who still smacks dingers and, fingers crossed, doesn’t mention his elbows every other inning.

Either way, stay tuned. Stanton’s coming—eventually. Probably. Hopefully. And when he does, let’s just pray the only thing he’s icing is the champagne.