I’ve ABSOLUTELY had it with Major League Baseball. EVERY SINGLE PART OF IT!
Remember, I used to work in that ridiculous, corporate nonsense when I was hosting that horrible 'MLB Fan Cage' show.
It was then that these asshats needed 20 officially signed and stamped “Yes” memos to allow an umpire to take a leak in the 7th inning stretch and they would 'OK' sketches for online content 5 WEEKS after the relevancy was overdue like 5 day expired fish!
In short...THESE PEOPLE SUCK, THEY WERE SLOW, THEY WERE INDECISIVE AND JUST AWFUL BECAUSE OF THE MLB BRAND.
Top to bottom they are plain, dry, white toast...the Elwood Blues Special. And so... I ask you... do we really want to pin our hopes on these dopes? I say Nope. They will, unsurprisingly, let us down.
Now... to the Major League Players... hey boys, on behalf of a weary nation...GO F YOURSELVES! Truly.
Take the year off, we insist. Don’t touch a bat. Leave the glove on the shelf. Stay home. Yes, you’re world class talent... even the pine riding platooner.
But look man... you’re in the F'in show! You are so wrong on this it’s crazy! Your health is at risk? Really? Meanwhile the guy making 10 bucks an hour so you can have a steak grub hub’d to your penthouse apartment isn’t at risk? SHUT UP! I’m done!
It ain’t your health that drives this stoppage bus...it’s your EGO. Fact check that you will soon to be lesser known than the Canadians back-up goalie clowns. I'm serious. You ruined the game. Thanks for nothing!
And so...here’s my fix! BROADCAST BAR LEAGUE BASEBALL! I’m ABSOLUTELY serious. Televise a Dorchester Over-40 Men’s Baseball league! Let’s watch former high school heroes! Yup... let's watch slightly out of shape weekend warriors take the field!
Lagerheads suiting up after knocking off a 12hr shift on a construction job! I'm talking Blue Collar Baseball!! 'Love of the game' guys! Pay them a wage! It's a terrific idea and a must!
Is it Aaron Judge crushing one? Nope, but it will entertain. It will be more than funny and I’ll bet surprising fun to watch. And not only that, let's mic them up too! A hardcore Boston accent barking from right field, “We wanna battah! Nawt a broken laddah!”
Stick it to the MLB owners and the players!! F them all.
America’s Pastime? They ain’t thinking about America, gang. Not. One. Bit.
Today’s match up.... Sam 'Mayday' Malone vs. the Pride of The California Penal League, Ricky Vaughn.
It's time! Let's do it and F these MLB losers!
** music choice The Cheers Theme song **
--Mike O'Hara
BYB Contributor
Twitter: @mikeyoh21
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