THE 5 BEST MLB MASCOTS EVER!

In my younger days, I used to get paid to wear silly costumes. I can tell you straight up, it’s not always fun. A lot depends on the costume. If you are a caped superhero, you’re golden. But if it’s a certain purple dinosaur, you are consigned to a torment I would wish only upon hardened and unrepentant killer/rapists.

Should you ever meet me in person, ask about the time I got stuck in a costume north of Yankee Stadium amongst hundreds of children with no place to change, teenagers with water balloons, and a giant boa constrictor. I could not make up a story like this.

My point is, mascots are hard workers. It’s not easy to act like a jerk wearing a giant head. It’s exhausting too. But yeah, it’s fun.

Anyway, here are the five best:

5. Mr Met

He started off as a cartoon on program covers, but Mr Met was given life in 1964 when the team moved to Shea Stadium. He is widely believed to be the first mascot represented by a costumed person. In short order, he was given a family. Mrs Met, and three Met children, one a baby, which would have creeped me right out as a kid.

Apparently, others felt the same. The Mets stopped using the mascot in the mid-seventies. Then of course, mascots got really popular. In a move typical of the instincts of that organization, the Mets did not bring their mascot back until the early 90’s, due to the urging of fans. Shocking everyone, the Mets listened to their fans. They have since vowed never to do that again.

Unsurprisingly, Mr Met was the first bobble-head giveaway doll in MLB history. As he already looks like one, that was easy math for somebody, to be sure. Anyway, he’s only on this list because he was the first MLB costumed mascot. Other than that, he’s a dorky looking putz with a giant zit for a face.

 4. Bernie Brewer

The great thing about Milwaukee is that everybody’s drunk all the time. The city is like Venice, but instead of canals of water, they have streets of beer. Happy Days was set in Milwaukee, remember? Everybody on that show was completely wasted all the time. Aaaaaaaay, indeed.

So anyway, Milwaukee landed an MLB franchise which they naturally called The Brewers. Everyone in the city celebrated by building giant slides on their roofs and zipping down them into the copious rivers of beer flowing through the city. A whole bunch of folks died in drunken drowning incidents.

 For whatever reason, this dude named Bernie was the one everybody remembered. If you have ever gone into any bar more than once, there is always a guy there like Bernie. The happy local drunk that everybody loves, although nobody knows how he holds down a job. There’s just more of these guys in Milwaukee.

 Everybody felt bad that Bernie drowned celebrating the new baseball team so Mayor Fonzarelli decreed the team mascot would be named for him. This is also why they had Bernie Brewer slide down a chute into a pool of beer during games when the Brewers hit a home run.

That’s how I heard it.

 3. Youppi

Designed by Bonnie Erickson of Jim Henson’s Muppets, Youppi is one of three mascots elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame. The other two are ahead of him on this list. Granted, these are not considered “official” inductions, but still, this is pretty cool for a mascot.

Youppi had quite an eventful career. He is the only mascot to have been ejected from a game. In 1989, he began jumping noisily on the visitor’s dugout in the 11th inning of a 22 frame marathon against the Dodgers. Tommy Lasorda lost his mind and got Youppi thrown out. Let’s say that again. Tommy Lasorda thought Youppi was loud and annoying.

 When the Montreal Expos became the Washington Nationals, Youppi jumped to a different league altogether. He is the first Major League mascot ever to do that. Now Youppi wears the colors of the NHL’s Montreal Canadiens, and even skates with the team. He has never forgotten his roots. Youppi touchingly memorialized Gary Carter at a Canadiens game in 2012. The baseball team is gone, but the Expos live on in Youppi.

 2. The Famous Chicken of San Diego

No other costumed character has done more to get mascots so visible as The Chicken. It was this character that started the mascot craze in the mid-seventies. Even though he isn’t number one on this list, this guy is probably the most well known.

 He has starred on an Emmy-winning children’s show with Johnny Bench, The Baseball Bunch; appeared in national commercials for McDonald’s and Sony (getting restrained by Peyton Manning so as not to beat up someone who says they don’t like sports); won a lawsuit against the creators of Barney after he had a slap fight with another performer dressed as a purple dinosaur; showed up at not one but two different Wrestlemanias, turning out to be Pete Rose in one of them, getting promptly pile-driven by the wrestler Kane; and was named to the “100 Most Powerful People in Sports” by The Sporting News.

The Chicken was made famous by performer Ted Giannoulas. The character first manifested as part of an Easter promotion at the San Diego zoo. The Chicken then began showing up at concerts, community events, and Padres games. He has been seen at all types of other games as well, including regular appearances for the NFL’s Chargers.

The only reason The Chicken is not number one is that he is not an official MLB mascot at all. Even though he has an spot in the Baseball Hall of Fame, the Chicken isn’t actually associated with the Padres or MLB.

 1. Phillie Phanatic

If you had access to a vehicle with a hot dog cannon, how much of a jerk would you be? Honey, if you are reading this, I want an ATV with a hot dog cannon for my birthday. That is the definition of pure awesomeness.

"With great power comes great responsibility" goes the saying, and the Phanatic happily ignores this. He carries the singular distinction of being the most sued mascot in history. To these people suing the Phanatic, I remind them; you are in freakin’ Philadelphia, where fans boo freakin’ Santa Claus. So the Phanatic plays rough, but could be a lot rougher. As in "average citizen of Philadelphia" rough. Remember. Hot dog cannon at his disposal.

Ain’t no other mascot like the Phanatic. This guy has done it all. David Letterman appearances. Lampooned in the Simpsons as The Capital City Goofball only to show up in the series as himself years later. Enshrined in the National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum.

He’s only been around since 1978, but the Phanatic is king of the MLB mascots. He was also designed by Bonnie Erickson, and his singular look cannot be mistaken for anything else. Oh, he’s apparently from the Galápagos Islands. Sure, okay.

This is a Yankee site, and the absolute non-arguable factor why the Phanatic is the greatest mascot ever is this commercial:


There are your top five MLB mascots of all time. In Yankee Stadium, we have no need of mascots. We have Bleacher Creatures. And some of us carry puppets.

Now pardon me while I try to build a hot dog cannon.

 
Chad R. MacDonald
BYB Features Writer
Facebook: New York Yankees the Home of Champions
My Blog: ChadRants


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