YANKEES WOMEN: WHAT NOT TO WEAR AT THE STADIUM

"Bleeding Yankee Blue has the dress code, you really need to follow it." -- Joe Girardi looks like he's saying this

Baseball season is well underway, summer is almost here, and the weather is getting warmer. What better thing to do on a warm summer day than spend it at Yankee Stadium? I went to a game in the beginning of the season, and did some people watching. Although for the most part, everything was business as usual, I did see some scary things in the women’s wardrobe department. So, as a sort of public service announcement, I thought it was appropriate to discuss the dress code. Here are some things that women should not be wearing.

1.Lycra/Spandex tank tops- I know, I know. This is a material that is readily available at a Walmart near you, but it's not meant for us to buy two sizes too small and squeeze into. There is nothing flattering about muffin tops and back boobs. Rule of Thumb: If you can fit Cervelli’s catcher’s mitt into the folds of your back flesh, you are in denial about what size you are. You need a Yankees shirt instead, or maybe a Bleeding Yankee Blue tee. Hey Casey, can you make some already?
2. "Daisy Dukes"- Jessica Simpson pulled it off, as did the original Daisy Duke, Catherine Bach. These are not real bodies. These are bodies that have been pampered, worked out and toned. Let's not forget about "retouching". There's no one out there at the Stadium that will wave a magic wand in front of you and make those pimply cheeks "disappear". On another note; lack of booty, don't wear these. If your silhouette looks a lot like the left field foul pole, you're not rocking the shorts, babe.

4. Spaghetti Straps/Tanks- If you've recently purchased a gravity-defying set from a plastic surgeon, fine, go ahead. Wear them. If you are over the age of 30, my opinion of course, but this look may not be for you. Isaac Newton is the founding father of gravity, and I truly believe his mission was to forewarn us women about the effects of gravity. Yet, so many of us remain in denial. We continue to wear these cute little tops and pretend as if no one notices that "the girls" have dropped to somewhere near our waistline. To look good, we need to be more objective. So, if you look in the mirror, and you notice that you’re looking a little more like a low pitch in the dirt rather than a high fast ball, leave it at home.5. Heavy makeup- We all want to look good in the summer. Why do people still pack on the bondo, knowing it will melt right off our faces? This is not a “game day” face unless you’re sitting in one of the air conditioned Stadium suites. Go with something light, and a little bronzer. Tip: If your face is 4 shades darker than your neck, you messed up, big time.
6. Flip-Flops- Everyone loves flip-flops. I even do. I'm not saying not to wear them. But some people shouldn't. If your toenails are so long that they curl around the top of the flop, or your second toe is four inches longer than your big toe, or all of your toes hang over the top and touch the ground, stop it. Just stop it. People like me will stare and throw peanuts at you.

7. Shorts and Stilettos- Sound ridiculous? Maybe to you and me, but you’d be surprised how much of this I saw, specifically in the sections closest to the Yankee dugout. Look ladies, Derek is not going to spot you, dump Minka and sweep you off those stripper heels and carry you into the dugout. Wear comfortable shoes. Your feet, and the guys toes that you just stepped on will thank you for it.8. Jerseys- Let me make this clear. If you are at a Yankee game, and you’re a Yankee fan, you wear Yankees gear. It is also acceptable if you have to be a fan of the opposing team on game day, to wear their gear. What is with these girls who wear jerseys for a team not even playing today’s game? To me that screams, I’m lost, you need GPS, right now.

Although this is only a partial list, but please spread the word to all your friends. Let’s make our Yankee Stadium experience a fun, safe, and enjoyable time, not a bunch of fans who look like their about to be booked by the fashion police.

(For all of you for with no sense of humor, I'm sorry you didn't enjoy this.)




--Christy Lee, BYB Staff Writer



--Jeana Bellezza, BYB Associate Editor



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