Thursday, December 25, 2014


The holidays bring out the best in people.  Really, I mean, I know sometimes it's hard to see their best because maybe they cut you off as you are trying to turn into the gas station or steal that last spot in front of the Mall, but in the end, the holidays are a cheerful time of year for many.  On the Today Show this morning I heard a statistic that broke my heart.  Fifty percent of the population over fifty are alone this holiday either by choice or otherwise.

As I worked yesterday to prepare a traditional Christmas Eve dinner for twenty-two, I couldn't help but think about the people who are alone and perhaps would love to be with their families and friends this holiday.  That might be the only thing on their list, frankly.  Then it occurred to me that all this discussion of expensive starting pitching and replacing Derek Jeter and shipping out this pair of players for a younger or more experienced version of a position player or pitcher really doesn't mean anything in the scheme of life.  As I see it, right now, what we have here in the Bronx is nothing more than a grouping of guys who seemingly look like a gathering of misfits- like an island of misfit toys.

The head of the Bronx Island of Misfit Toys is Yukon Cornelius played by our very own GM Brian Cashman.  He is a dead ringer for the role.  He rides around on a sleigh pulled by a few sled dogs as he gathers up misfit players and brings them to the Bronx to see if they can make a championship team.  So far, he has gathered up a great group of misfits leading into 2015.  Let's look at the lineup:

1. Alex Rodriguez: Our very own Charlie in the Box.  Yes, he is supposed to be able to play third base and hit consistently, but he just can't.  Instead, we don't know what he will be able to do this year for the Yankees, if anything.  He is a misfit, who may very well sit the bench if he can't cut it at DH.

2. Didi Gregorius: According to, "New Yankees shortstop Didi Gregorius hasn't exactly had a lot of success offensively in his young MLB career, batting .243 with a .313 on-base percentage in 191 games. Despite his struggles, Yankees general manager Brian Cashman is confident the 24-year-old shortstop is better than his numbers indicate. "That's our hope. We don't think he's a finished product," Cashman said, per"  He is like that bird that swims instead of flies.  Another misfit we are expected to help grow.

3. Mark Teixeira: He is the boat that can't stay afloat.  He has a wrist ache, a back ache and broken finger.  He just can't stay healthy and that hurts us every single year.  There was talk of ARod playing first base perhaps this season.  Don't even tell me that.  I can't keep a straight face.  He is the boat that can't stay a float and ARod is Charlie in the Box.  Enough said.

4. Brian McCann: He is the the cowboy that rides an ostrich instead of a horse.  He looks like a good catcher.  He tries.  He gives good feedback to the pitchers but he can't hit.  It's like instead of a bat, he is using a fly swatter to swing at pitches.  He is a misfit from Atlanta that we are supposed to fix.

5. Carlos Beltran:  He is the airplane that can't fly.  Truth be told, he tries.  He goes out there and tries to take off, but he crashes and burns with injuries and set backs.  I truly hope he finds his wings this year, otherwise, he may find himself jetting out of the lineup.

Why do we have to have so many misfits? Is it because Cashman thinks or thought that these guys he picked up over the years and brought to the Bronx were unfinished products?  Were we to finish them?  Clean them up?

As far as feeling lonely, I feel lonely every post season, particularly this year when I knew that the last game of the season would be Jeter's last game of his career.  There would be no playoffs, no champagne toasts, no postseason coverage, no Joe Buck to yell at for us.

When you all sat down to enjoy your holiday feast, I hope that all of the food is finished to perfection, that there is a lot of laughter, a lot of good memories and just a lot of togetherness.  No one should feel like a misfit ever.  My hope is that the group of guys we have here for 2015 so far will resign their misfit status and get their bodies in shape for the year to remember- a finish at the top of the AL East with playoffs within our reach.  Stop being misfits and get with it!  Happy Holidays to you and yours!  Make it a good one!

--Suzie Pinstripe, BYB Senior Staff Writer
Twitter: @suzieprof

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