IT JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT AARON BOONE DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING

I’ve been saying it for years, and today just stamped it in ink: I do not understand why anyone—beat reporters, fans, or even the hot dog vendor outside Gate 4—still wastes their time listening to Aaron Boone. The man has mastered the art of saying absolutely nothing with as many words as possible. He’s a walking TED Talk on word salad.

Even Clint Frazier—yes, Clint Frazier, the guy who disappeared faster than Boone’s bullpen logic—once all but admitted Boone’s managerial style consists of nodding along to the analytics department while pretending he’s steering the ship. He also knows the Front Office is garbage. I feel bad for the Yankee players. 

Boone isn’t a manager; he’s the Yankees’ Siri. Ask him something, and he’ll spit out pre-programmed nonsense that sounds vaguely baseball-y but ultimately means zip.

Case in point: Boone went on WFAN today and let his hamster wheel brain spin out this gem about Aaron Judge: “I don’t think we’re going to see [Judge] back to throwing like he normally does at any point this year.” Translation: Judge is broken forever, goodnight everybody. Naturally, fans panicked, thinking either Judge was done as an outfielder this season or Boone just accidentally leaked the Yankees’ darkest secret.

But here’s the thing—I didn’t buy a word of it. Boone could tell me the sky is blue and I’d still go outside and double-check. And guess what? I was right. Judge himself had to come out and basically tell his own manager to zip it. Before the Rays series, Judge shot down Boone’s rambling, saying: “I don’t know why he said that. He hasn’t seen me throw for the past two weeks, so I’m pretty confident I’ll get back to [100 percent].”

That’s not just a correction—that’s a superstar calling his manager clueless in the politest way possible. If this were the movie Dude, Where’s My Car?, Judge’s line would’ve been, “I know my arm, dude!”

So here we are again: the fans frustrated, Judge frustrated, and Boone still squatting in the dugout like he’s earned the right to be there. When exactly will this guy be shown the exit? Because frankly, I miss Yankee Stadium. I want to go back. But I refuse to sit in those seats while Boone is steering this Titanic with a plastic spoon and a weather app.

That’s the bottom line: Boone’s gotta go. And the longer the front office keeps him around, the dumber they look.