STROMAN'S RETURN MAY JUST BE A WAY TO SHOWCASE HIM BEFORE THE DEADLINE

Marcus Stroman is dusting off his cleats and getting ready to throw some baseballs again — hooray, confetti, pop the champagne. Or don’t. Because let’s be real: this team doesn’t need sentimental comebacks right now. It needs reinforcements. It needs adrenaline. It needs someone to walk into that clubhouse and scream, “WAKE UP!” And as much as I appreciate Stroman’s flair and social media savvy, I don’t think he’s that guy. But maybe, just maybe, he can help us find that guy.

Stroman is scheduled to start a rehab game on Wednesday for the Double-A Somerset Patriots. It’ll be his first time facing live hitters since mid-April, when his left knee decided it had other plans and tapped out. His last appearance? April 11 against the Giants, where he got lit up and then promptly landed on the injured list the very next day. Since then, it’s been setbacks and soreness — two of the most exhausting words in Yankees land right now.

Let’s recap the numbers. Three starts. 9.1 innings pitched.12 earned runs. ERA somewhere between “yikes” and “are you serious?”

Now, as the Yankees stumble through a freefall like a guy who just slipped on a banana peel while carrying groceries, Stroman’s return is… well, interesting. Will he be a bullpen guy? A starter? An opener? A mascot? I genuinely don’t care. The Yankees need warm bodies with functioning knees and a pulse. Inject something into this lifeless dugout, even if it’s Stroman in a neck pillow trying to throw three innings.

But let me be brutally honest here — Stroman isn’t the golden ticket to a parade down the Canyon of Heroes. He’s a piece. A chess pawn. And you know what you do with pawns when you're not going to win with them? You trade them to get a queen. Or at least a third baseman who can field and hit above .200.

If Stroman comes back and looks halfway decent — I mean, not throwing batting practice out there — it's my opinion that the Yankees will dangle him at the deadline like a juicy steak in front of a desperate contender. Somebody will bite. Someone always bites. Pitching is a hot commodity in July, especially when elbows and hamstrings across the league are snapping like dry twigs.

Look, I don’t root against Stroman. He’s been a good soldier (minus the occasional social media swirl), but this is about one thing and one thing only: winning a World Series. And if he’s not helping you do that — and let’s be honest, he’s probably not — then he needs to become someone who helps you get someone who can.

So go ahead, Marcus. Rehab strong. Look sharp. Smile for the radar guns. Just know that every pitch you throw is an audition — not for October in the Bronx, but for July 30 in someone else’s uniform.

We’re in survival mode now, folks. Let’s act like it.