THE YANKEES DON'T, BUT YOUR HECKLING DOES

Here we go! The 2014 Major League Baseball season is off and running. The gray days of winter have finally called it quits after overstaying their welcome far too long. As we get reacquainted with our National Pastime, so many topics and story lines are swirling in my head. This campaign promises to be one to remember for sure…but where to start? AH! I’ve got it.

Heckling is as much a part of baseball as grabbing a hot dog and a beer after taking your sear the ballpark. Razzing the visiting team’s players is something we’ve all done at one time or another. Whether it be the basic “Boo” or a well placed zinger at the expense of a young man in a road grey uniform, giving the away club “The Business” is the home fan’s god given right…hell, it’s a time honored tradition! Heckling in the game of baseball is an art form.

However the tragic fact is the number of fans that can heckle in a clever and entertaining way is in drastic decline. We don’t like to play at the top of our intelligence anymore. Slowly the sharp, wise cracking “bleacher bums” from days long gone have given way to people who’d rather just bark classless obscenities. We are now a culture that sees value in bottom of the barrel entertainment…like watching the Jersey Shore or listening to the Bieber kid. It’s sad, folks.

The most overly used and unbelievably lame chant slash heckle proving my point is “YANKEES SUCK!” Ah yes, it’s the best they can come up with. From coast to coast, North to South, the Bronx Bombers are treated to the worst possible example of a once classic part of the home field advantage. I completely understand that other fans have a passionate “dislike” of the Yanks. It can be fueled be vengeance, jealously, rivalry…but when you dig down deep and come up with  “YANKEES SUCK!”…Well, it looks like you’re fueled by a DeVry diploma and tapioca pudding.

Yes, I’m a die-hard New York Yankee fan and don’t like hearing my club run down, but it’s more than that. I can say with all honesty that I’ve never joined in a “Boston Sucks!” chant. They clearly don’t. I wouldn’t even do that to the Cubbies and they clearly have. It’s just the worst. The Yanks might not be your cup of tea, but suck? Come on, you know better…oh, a Dodger fan?…well, no…maybe you don’t. But the rest of you have no excuse. Scrap this generic, waste of a heckle and go back to the drawing board. This chant isn’t even a first draft. Read up on your targets. Come up with a few ideas, bring them to the park and see if they catch on. Or just shoot from the hip and see what grabs the folks in your section. It can be done.

For example, in 2012 I caught the Yanks on the road. Although New York fans travel pretty well, I was pretty much alone in my section. The home team’s fans surrounding me were on me from the first pitch, but they were good-natured barbs and I was wearing pinstripes…I’m fair game. The Bombers took it on the chin and as the teams were leaving the dugouts a group behind me saw Derek Jeter getting ready to head to the clubhouse.

Their ringleader yelled out to The Captain and then they started chanting, “HERE’S YOUR BASKET! HERE’S YOUR BASKET!” They had done some thinking on how to zing the future Hall of Famer. Jeter had been in the papers because the word was he would give ladies he had “entertained” the night before a parting gift basket. This was a great heckle. I tipped my cap to them. Their club had won the game and they were sending Jeet off with a “Basket”. I left the stadium feeling down that my club had lost, but I had hope that the good old, witty and timely heckle was still alive out there.

I don’t want to make it sound like Yankee fans haven’t joined this “SUCKS!” epidemic. Younger fans, the new Stadium…the wave for god sake! It’s found it’s way to the Bronx and I am not having it. We were the crowd that made Pedro lose sleep hearing “WHO’S YOUR DADDY!” echoing in his dreams…or nightmares in this case. NO the Sox don’t suck…neither do the Rays, O’s…even the Jays are better than lousy. Yankee fans, don’t buy into it. Smarten up! I mean what’s next rally monkeys, beach balls and a pool out in center field (By the way, it’s a nice pool…just don’t see why it’s needed).

I’ll share one other story about the dangers of being a bargain basement heckler with a two cent head. I lived out West for a spell. I would go to see Dodgers’ games now and again. They have a good ballpark and Vin Scully so… Anyway, a friend of mine got us great seats one night. We sat right behind the visitor’s on deck circle.

The Reds were in town and I was happy to see coaches Bucky Dent and Chris Chambliss in their dugout. I was also excited to see Ken Griffey Jr. play. Just before his first at bat he stood on deck. A Dodger fan sitting a few seats from us yelled out to him, “Hey Junior! You suck!” Without pause Griffey looked over his shoulder at the guy and snapped off a “Beat it, geek.”

Our whole section (Dodger fans as well) went wild. This clown got crushed the way Junior took care of fastballs low and in. And the way he delivered his retort was priceless. It was as if he was speaking for every big leaguer who had to listen to uninspired, second grade, potty mouth fans. He was saying bring something that will sting or stay the hell home. I agree whole-heartedly Junior.

So here we go. Hope springs eternal. Every team has a chance this time of year…and every fan has a chance to refrain from the worst heckle in the history of sport and up their game. Because let’s face it, the New York Yankees don’t suck, but that chant certainly does.




--Mike O'Hara, MLB Fan Cave Host, Season 1
   Twitter: @mikeyoh21
"Paulie was always my favorite player."



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