Friday, April 4, 2014

DANIEL MURPHY'S PATERNITY LEAVE IS REALLY NO ONE'S BUSINESS


The very last thing I expected to be reported on as soon as the baseball season started is whether or not Mets second baseman, Daniel Murphy, should be benched for 30 days over paternity leave. 

Murphy left the team on Monday when his wife went into labor. Under the collective bargaining agreement, Murphy is within his rights to take up to three days of Paternity leave. No big deal right? It's his first child, and a father should bond with their newborn. Especially if his job takes him away from his family for the better part of the year. Take your three days, and come back to the team. Well apparently, a few people had somethings to say about it.


Radio personalities Mike Francesa, along with Boomer & Carton's, Boomer Esiason and Craig Carton seemed to think that the three day stint away from the team was unneeded. Francesa saying "You see the birth and you get back," and Esiason providing "I'd want to be able to be with my team, because I have a responsibility to that team." With all due respect, gentlemen, mind your business! 

Seriously, pack up your comments about Murphy's paternity leave, that he is legally allowed to take, and move along. Wrap them up in a pretty little bow, and then set them on fire. Because, honestly, you are so way out of line, you might as well be walking in circles. It seems absolutely ridiculous to me that any man would begrudge another time with his newborn. I know this new forward movement in fatherhood, and more fathers taking paternity leave to spend time helping the mother of their child with the newborn, seems absurd to older gentlemen that did not have that option, but the bottom line? They sound like haters! There is no better way to describe that. Perhaps back when Francesa had his children it was the social norm to basically abandon them, and the mother for work, but now? Not so much. Fathers are given the opportunity, so why should they be looked down upon? I know this has something to do with male ego, and being the provider. It's all very caveman to me. Wife stays home and raises children. Husband works. News flash! Times have changed. And where fathers were little more than disciplinary figures, we actually live in a society where they are stay at home dads! Crazy, right? The idea that we are not stuck in the 60's anymore is insanity! Look, I mean no disrespect to father who weren't allowed the time, or luxury of paternity leave. I realize that some circumstances do not allow for it. That's fine! You do what you have to do. I'm not knocking you, gentlemen. But Murphy had the time.


Maybe I am bias because I am a mother, whose husband was allowed to take the time off. I know how much I appreciated having my husband around for a few days when our children were born. It allowed me to develop a rhythm, and habits that made me more confident to deal with the kids once he returned to work. I am a huge supporter of paternity leave, if that is what a couple agrees on. But I also remember my husband getting the 3am feeding so I could sleep an extra two hours straight. So I went and asked my husband. 

"It's a personal thing. Some men are more family oriented. Some want to spend at least a few days with their babies. Some don't have that luxury. If you've got the time, take it. Either way, it's personal, and trying to make him feel bad about it? That's completely inappropriate." 

See? My husband gets it. The bottom line here is that Murphy didn't do anything wrong. There is absolutely no reason to try to chastise him. He and his wife agreed to take the full three days paternity leave. Period! No one outside of that couple has the right to make that choice, and it doesn't matter whether you agree with them or not. And if you don't agree with them, you keep it to yourself. 

Ultimately, it is a memory, and a bonding experience, he and his wife will be able to share. And a huge congratulations to the Murphy, and his wife on the new addition!


--Erica Morales BYB Senior Writer
Twitter: @e_morales1804


 


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