THEY CALL HIM "NO-GO" NOLAN

Actually. I call him that.

Our New York Yankees and their endless quest to dominate baseball headlines this offseason, gotta love it. This time, the chatter continues around Nolan Arenado. Now some Yankees fans have been daydreaming about Arenado donning the iconic pinstripes, striding into Yankee Stadium like the hero Gotham deserves. But here’s the kicker: this is starting to look more like a rom-com where the couple never actually gets together.

Let’s rewind to December, The Athletic’s Katie Woo spilled some tea, saying the Yankees had their eyes on Arenado. That little nugget of info sent the rumor mill spinning faster than a Giancarlo Stanton strikeout (sorry, had to although he owned the post season). Things got even juicier when the Yankees signed Paul Goldschmidt—Arenado’s buddy and Cardinal's teammate for the past four seasons—to a one-year, $12.5 million deal. Cue the speculation: “If Goldy’s here, why not Arenado?” It was almost too perfect, like a baseball version of peanut butter and jelly.

But as much as some Yankees fans love a good blockbuster, reality bites. Multiple league sources have made it clear that while the Yankees appreciate Arenado’s talent, they’re not exactly lining up to take on the majority of his massive contract. And honestly, can you blame them? Sure, Arenado is still a wizard with the glove, but at 33, he’s not exactly the offensive juggernaut he once was. Those numbers in St. Louis? Let’s just say they’re more “meh” than MVP.

Now, let’s talk logistics. Even if Arenado came to New York, the Yankees don’t need him like they need, say, a magic potion to fix their injury woes. DJ LeMahieu can handle third base just fine. Yes, I know DJ hasn’t been the golden boy lately, but let’s not forget he’s a Swiss Army knife in cleats. Slot him at third, mix in that shiny offseason roster, and the Yankees are looking pretty good.

And let’s be honest: do the Yankees really need another massive contract weighing them down? The last thing they need is to repeat the mistakes of the past (hello, Jacoby Ellsbury, we haven’t forgotten). This franchise is supposed to be smarter, savvier, and, well, more financially selective these days.

So, after reading every report and wild fan theory, it looks like the Yankees are swiping left on Arenado. And you know what? I’m okay with that. Not every big name needs to end up in the Bronx. Sometimes, the best move is staying the course, letting the guys you’ve got do their thing, and avoiding yet another financial albatross.

Sorry, Arenado fans. This love story isn’t meant to be. But hey, there’s always next offseason for Yankees fans to dream up another big-name crush. 

Let's move on now, huh?