BURNES TO PITCH IN THE DESERT!

Stop the presses and cue the mariachi band—Corbin Burnes is taking his flamethrower to the Valley of the Sun! In a deal reportedly worth six years and a cool $210 million, the Diamondbacks have lured the biggest fish (or should we say snake?) in this year’s free-agent pitching market. And because no blockbuster is complete without a twist, Burnes gets an opt-out after the 2026 season. Talk about keeping things spicy.

Burnes, a 30-year-old right-hander with Cy Young-level skills and a resume that makes scouts drool, is poised to supercharge an already impressive D-backs rotation. Here’s what Burnes has been up to: Last season, he was lighting up the mound for the Orioles, going 15-9 with a razor-sharp 2.92 ERA. Over 32 starts, he clocked 181 strikeouts in 194 1/3 innings. Oh, and he earned his fourth straight All-Star nod and started the Midsummer Classic for the AL. Not too shabby, right?

Now, I have to confess—when I played armchair GM, I had Burnes landing with the Giants. Why? Because every "baseball insider" under the sun swore it was happening... the Giants or the Dodgers they would say. Spoiler alert: they were wrong. Seriously, how do they keep that baseball insider title? Instead, Burnes is packing his bags for Arizona, proving once again that this sport loves to keep us guessing.

For Burnes, it’s not just about baseball—it’s about coming home. As an Arizona resident, he’ll be pitching in his own backyard, and he’s joining a rotation that’s already stacked. Picture this: Zac Gallen, Merrill Kelly and Eduardo Rodriguez. Add Corbin Burnes. Nice.

The New York Post was the first to report this deal, pending the usual physical. Assuming all goes well, the D-backs are about to unleash the ultimate desert storm, and Burnes is the eye of the hurricane.

Nice snag Diamondbacks! Game on, Arizona. Game on.