Parenting Publishers have a piece by Laura Posada that I wanted to bring to your attention. In it, it speaks about the Posada family and dealing with the illness of a child and how the family rallies. It’s well done and as always, we tip our cap to Laura. The Posada family is strong, they understand what it means to be a family and how to work together. They are role models, leaders and mentors. Laura also happens to be a certified life coach that she adds to her already stack of credentials. She’s an inspiration… so on this Saturday morning, I wanted to share this. I had to translate it… let’s hope I handled it well. Check it out:
“What happens when suddenly and without warning, your child is diagnosed with a serious illness or a health condition that requires lifelong care? If this is the case, what can you do to make sure the relationship as a couple is not adversely affected?
- Acceptance: In situations like this, a first step the couple should do is have a serious talk to commit to work together and adapt to a new life. Unfortunately, diseases can arrive uninvited, but we must accept the facts as they are and more than ever to join the battle that has been presented. Change comes and it is the decision as a couple if both be positive or negative.
- Respect: Mothers and fathers react to situations like this differently. Therefore, it is imperative to respect your partner in the process of assimilating things. There are people who are immediately ready to take action while there are others that are frozen before the shock and do not react until later. This does not mean they do not feel pain or do not love, simply you react and you must respect it without pressure or claims. Respect the emotions of your partner and in turn, receive the same in return.
- Support: Depending on what the ailment, I recommend seeking help in support groups who are going through the same situation. Sometimes it is extremely helpful to talk to other couples who are going through the same situation. It is an excellent avenue to vent and know which techniques they've used to their advantage. It is also important to have the support of family and friends.
- Itinerary: If the illness requires care 24/7, it is important to create an itinerary. In this case, the time should be divided in the way that works for the child's health and the health of married life. Both parents must be part of health care, but also need to set aside time to rest when possible. For some couples an alternative may be to used for extra help to make time to work on the relationship.
- Finance: Medical treatments are expensive and it is important from the time the diagnosis is received to prepare a plan as to these expenses to avoid arguments in the couple by economic problems. Perhaps, by the time you have to make some sacrifices in terms of costs but with patience, support, love and dedication you can find a solution.
- Communication: This experience with a child puts the couple in the same boat, with the same mission. Through all the pain, you need to remember that they have to support each other, can recount their fears and concerns without having to hide or fake a smile, take advantage of that connection and work on it with words of love and hope for the future.
- We are one: Finally, as a loving and devoted mother, don't get too wrapped up in the disease and forget your partner. Through it all, partners have to find ways to create moments that bring you happiness. Look always to see the light at the end of the tunnel and feed your love, for in a union, there is strength.
Great work again Laura.
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