JAZZ'S SILLY SUSPENSION IS THE DOWNFALL OF MANFRED'S BASEBALL KINGDOM

The Yankees beat the Rays last night, sure—final score doesn’t even matter when the real drama went down off the diamond. New York improved to a spiffy 12-7 and sits pretty atop the American League East, while Tampa Bay continues spiraling into the abyss at 8-11. But forget the standings. This one was all about Jazz Chisholm Jr. and a pitch I felt was so bad it could’ve been thrown from Staten Island.

Let’s just say it: that pitch was garbage. We all saw it. Stevie Wonder saw it. Helen Keller would’ve flinched. But somehow, some way, the ump called it a strike—and Jazz was not having it and I agree with him. He voiced his frustration in the only way the modern player can: by going nuclear on Twitter.

And oh, did he deliver. After getting tossed for arguing balls and strikes (because of course you can’t question the sacred, all-knowing umpire gods), Jazz took to social media and dropped this gem from the clubhouse:

“Not Even Fking close.”

Jazz Chisholm Jr. hopped on social media after his ejection pic.twitter.com/pSlC3UhJNn

— Yankees Videos (@snyyankees) April 18, 2025

Was it over the top? Maybe. Was it honest? Absolutely. Was it glorious? Without question.

Now, normally players aren’t allowed to be on their phones during games (MLB’s still pretending it’s 1953), but since Jazz was already booted, he technically wasn’t in the game. He wasn’t live-tweeting between pitches—he was calling out nonsense after being ejected for having eyes.

But alas, Big Brother Baseball saw it differently.

According to Gary Phillips of the New York Daily News, the league is now "looking into the matter," which is MLB code for “we’re about to overreact with maximum pettiness.” And sure enough, by the next evening, the hammer came down: one-game suspension and a fine.

Because apparently, in Rob Manfred’s Baseball Kingdom, telling the truth is a punishable offense.

“I don’t care,” Chisholm said, like an absolute king. “I did what I did. I can live up to my responsibilities. It doesn’t matter to me.”

That’s the kind of attitude baseball needs—bold, unapologetic, unfiltered. But instead of celebrating authenticity, MLB continues to run its league like a joyless, gray-suited bureaucracy, where speaking out gets you benched, and emotion is a crime.

There’s supposedly a social media policy. Cool. Show us the clause that says “don’t tweet a fact after you get thrown out for being right.” But hey, when MLB is more concerned about mean tweets than strike zones the size of Delaware, maybe we’ve got bigger problems.

Look, Jazz Chisholm didn’t start a brawl. He didn’t chuck a bat at anyone. He said the pitch sucked—because it did. And the fans? They agreed. Twitter was a wildfire of “yeah, that pitch was trash.”

So here we are. The league with declining viewership and a desperate need for young stars to connect with fans just punished one of the most electric personalities in the game for telling the truth. Again.

MLB wants excitement—until it’s real. They want personality—until it’s inconvenient. They want authenticity—until it’s Jazz Chisholm tweeting from the tunnel after being tossed for not silently swallowing a clown call.

Let the man speak. Let the game breathe. And for once, maybe tell your umpires to get their eyes checked before going full Orwell on a player for being human.