MAYBE THE YANKEES ARE REALLY GOOD HITTERS?

God forbid the Yankees start the season on a tear without the baseball world losing its mind. We all knew they had a powerhouse lineup—no surprises there. But now, instead of tipping their caps, people are blaming their success on the new torpedo bats. Suddenly, it’s not talent; it’s “suspicious.” And of course, the cries for an “investigation” have begun.

The Yankees are loving their new bats. The Brewers? Not so much. Trevor Megill didn’t even pitch against the Yankees on Thursday, but that didn’t stop him from chiming in.

“I think it’s terrible,” Megill told the New York Post. “We’ll see what the data says. I’ve never seen anything like it before. I feel like it’s something used in slo-pitch softball. It’s genius: Put the mass all in one spot. It might be bush [league]. It might not be. But it’s the Yankees, so they’ll let it slide.”

Wait—what’s “terrible,” exactly? That the Yankees can hit? Last I checked, crushing baseballs isn’t a crime. The Sporting News even cleared up the legality debate:

“Are torpedo bats legal? Yes, despite fans — and opposing pitchers — wanting to call out the Yankees for cheating, the bats are perfectly legal. All bats are checked before games, and the New York bats passed inspection. Even with the particular styling of the logos, the bats are within the size requirements from MLB. Now, the league could see how the Yankees obliterated the baseball against the Brewers and pass new legislation, but for now, they are legal.”

That should be the end of it. Keep playing. The Yankees are absolutely mashing right now, and if you’ve watched this team long enough, you know they’ll cool off. Right now, it’s just adrenaline and momentum. Why can’t baseball fans just enjoy the show? It’s a great story—not because of some grand cheating scandal, but because the Yankees are locked in at the plate.

Even Orioles outfielder Cedric Mullins has checked out a torpedo bat, though he hasn’t swung one himself. He told The Baltimore Banner that the concept was introduced to the Orioles’ clubhouse this spring. “Mullins said the modification is ‘very legal,’ and a Major League Baseball spokesperson confirmed to The Athletic he is correct.”

MLB’s own rulebook backs it up:

Rule 3.02: “The bat shall be a smooth, round stick not more than 2.61 inches in diameter at the thickest part and not more than 42 inches in length. The bat shall be one piece of solid wood.”

So where do I stand on this? Simple. People love to hate the Yankees. When they struggle, nobody cares. When they dominate? It’s a conspiracy. At the end of the day, the Yankees have an elite lineup—whether they’re swinging torpedo bats or regular ones. If the league changes the rules down the line, fine, let’s talk then. But until that happens? Everyone else can cry about it while New York keeps raking.