ORIOLES ARE TRYING TO LOCK IN CLAY HOLMES

The Baltimore Orioles are trying to patch up their bullpen after another postseason meltdown, and guess who they’ve got their eye on? Clay Holmes. That’s right—our Clay Holmes. According to MLB.com’s Mark Feinsand, the Orioles are sniffing around Holmes like a dog at a picnic, and honestly, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. On one hand, good for Clay; on the other hand, what are we even doing here if he ends up in Baltimore AND HE'S GOOD AGAIN?

Now, let me be clear: I like Clay Holmes. I’ve always liked Clay Holmes. Sure, he wasn’t perfect—13 blown saves will test anyone’s patience—but he always showed up, did what he was asked, and, when he was on, he was lights out. He gave us some huge moments this season, and even when things went sideways, you could tell he cared. Holmes isn’t one of those guys who shrugs off a bad outing—he feels it, and that’s why I rooted for him.

But the idea of Holmes in Orioles orange? Interesting. It’s like finding out your ex is dating someone you hate—someone who lives next door and blasts terrible music at all hours. Picture this: Yankee Stadium, bottom of the ninth, and here comes Clay Holmes out of the visitors’ bullpen, looking calm, collected, and ready to mow down our lineup. And then... he does it! Do you know how awkward that would be? 

Look, I get it. Baltimore needs bullpen help. After another October where they folded faster than a cheap lawn chair, they’re desperate. And Clay Holmes is exactly the kind of guy they’d want—an All-Star in two of the past three seasons, a high-leverage arm with a track record of getting big outs. Sure, he struggled late in 2024, but who didn’t? The Orioles see potential, and they’re not wrong. If they sign him and he rebounds, they’ll look like geniuses. And we’ll look like chumps.

Here’s the worst part: we all know how this script goes. Holmes goes to Baltimore, figures it out, and starts locking down saves like he’s Mariano Rivera. Suddenly, he’s the guy we were all hoping for—just not for us. Instead, he’s slamming the door on the Yankees in big games while Orioles fans pretend they always believed in him too. You think it was tough watching Nathan Eovaldi carve us up in Texas? Just wait until Clay Holmes does it in our own division.

So yeah, this would suck. Big time. I like Holmes, I really do. But the thought of him pitching for Baltimore? That would suck, especially if he's lights out.