Swisher: Yo Tex
Teixeira: Who's this?
Swisher: SWISHER BABY!!!!! I'm back!!!
Teixeira: Yeah, read about it. Guess they think I'll bust a hip or something
Swisher: lol Well, u do get a shit load of aches and pains!!
Teixeira: I'm in the best shape of my life. Gluten Free now man
Swisher: Chillax Brutha!
Teixeira: You gotta get out of Scranton anyway. How you gonna do that if you can't hit? LOL
Swisher: Dick! The way I see it, all I need to do is get some at bats and wait until you take one off the shin. BYB thinks May 8th... haha
Swisher: YEAH BABYYY!
Teixeira: Well, welcome back Swish
Swisher: That's it??
Teixeira: Pretty much, gotta get ready for the Jays
Swisher: OK. Talk soon my dog.
Teixeira: OK Swish.
Swisher: And Tex...
Swisher: Don't take one off the shin, I'M BREATHING DOWN YOUR NECK PORCELAIN!!!
Teixeira: I never liked you swish. LOL
Swisher: and HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I WANT TO PIE YOU.
Teixeira: Thanks, you know, you seem louder on text than in real life. geez. lol
(NOTE: THESE ARE FAKE TEXT EXCHANGES. THIS IS ME USING HUMOR AND MAKING A GUESS OF HOW THE PEOPLE INVOLVED WOULD SPEAK TO EACH OTHER VIA TEXT. THERE IS NOTHING REAL ABOUT THIS. IT IS DONE STRICTLY FOR LAUGHS. ENJOY)