JUST SIGN BELLINGER, DUDE!

The New York Yankees have officially mastered the art of looking busy while accomplishing absolutely nothing.

This entire offseason has been one long exercise in minor league cosplay. Depth signings. Non-roster invites. Roster filler dressed up as “smart baseball.” The Yankees didn’t improve a single pressure spot on a team that keeps folding when it matters — but hey, the farm system spreadsheet looks great.

And if you question it, you’re told to relax… because they signed a Mexican League MVP named Nick Torres, and apparently that’s supposed to move the needle. You’re supposed to be excited. You’re supposed to nod knowingly, even though 99 percent of fans had never heard the name until the press release hit. World Series contenders don’t ask their fan base to imagine production — they acquire it. 

The Yankees are now selling mystery boxes and calling them solutions.

Meanwhile, the most obvious answer has been staring them in the face the entire time: Cody Bellinger.

Dan Duquette said the quiet part out loud on MLB Network Radio, and unlike the Yankees, he didn’t overthink it.

“I think he’s getting six years. I still think the Yankees, even though there’s other teams that jumped in, I still cannot imagine that the Yankees will not be the final suitor on him,” Duquette said.

“He was such a good fit, obviously, mostly hitting behind (Aaron) Judge. It doesn’t hurt that Judge had another MVP season.”

That’s not insider gossip. That’s logic — something the Yankees seem allergic to.

While the front office fiddles with Triple-A depth and asks fans to pretend Nick Torres is the missing championship piece, Bellinger already answered real questions. He balanced the lineup. He protected Judge. He made Yankee Stadium work for him instead of exposing him. Left-handed power. Real contact. Zero fear of big moments. Pitchers had to pitch, and suddenly Judge wasn’t stranded on an island.

And then there’s the defense — something this organization treats like an optional accessory. Bellinger brought Gold Glove ability wherever they needed him. Outfield? Elite. First base? Smooth. No excuses, no learning curve, no defensive disasters disguised as versatility. He played baseball like someone who respects all nine innings.

Most of all, he handled New York like a pro. No press conferences about “adjustments.” No sulking. No coddling. Just a 5+ WAR season, quiet leadership, and actual results — the opposite of the Yankees’ offseason strategy.

That’s why Bellinger’s return isn’t just preferable — it’s necessary. Because while the Yankees hoard minor leaguers and hype overseas MVPs nobody asked for, Bellinger represents certainty. Proven production. Proven composure. Proven fit.

Championship teams don’t cross their fingers over Nick Torres and hope it plays in October. They lock in players who already showed they can survive the Bronx and thrive in it.

Cody Bellinger did that.

And if the Yankees don’t bring him back, it won’t be because he wasn’t worth it — it’ll be because this front office is more comfortable gambling on the unknown than committing to something that actually worked.