AMERICA'S FAN

Everyone knows at least one. They are everywhere unfortunately. They live all over this country! They are in cities and towns far and wide! The thing that they have in common…I mean other than the ridiculous stories they gives us as to why they are how they are…is that they know, deep down, that they are full of S&%#!

I’m referring to the fans that like the Dallas Cowboys, the Los Angeles Lakers, the Duke Blue Devils and, sadly, the New York Yankees. 

These full tilt, front running asshats can live in Massachusetts, Texas, Ohio…New Jersey (like that McPherson guy on the WFAN).

“Oh, well I like them because my Dad was a Tony Dorsett guy and so I just followed suit…”

“Well, we didn’t get Sixers games because we didn’t have cable, so I just saw the Lakers a lot…”

“My aunt lived in Charlotte, and I got to go to a game at Cameron when I was 7 so…”

“I always loved Reggie Jackson…so even though I’m from Forrest Lawn, Illinois…yeah, huge Yankee fan, buddy.”

These people are either Gung-ho and show up in jerseys everywhere…or when the team is in the playoffs and they caught a game or two a few months earlier. Either way, they suck.

O’Hara! What is up with you today, kid? What’s with the rant?

I watched the end of the year Yankee word salad presser, and I realized…the Yankees deserve those types of fans now. They deserve each other in fact. 

We’ve become the Lakers, Blue Devils and Cowboys…the Yanks are the Kardashians now!! They are famous for being famous!!! Grit? To the modern day Yankees, that’s just a something you serve up for breakfast down south. Heart? The Wilson sisters rocking Barracuda on the stadium PA system is the only time you hear it in the Bronx. Where have you gone, Paul O’Neill? Our fan base turns its lonely eyes to you…oooo. What’s that you say, Mrs. Robinson? The Warrior is up in the YES booth with Coney? 

WELL, TELL HIM TO CHOKE HOLD HAL AND DEMAND THAT HE IS MADE HITTING COACH AND EXECUTIONER! Make Jorge Manager!! Make A Rod GM!! Jeff Nelson can be bullpen coach! Give us SOMETHING to believe in!

I mean the front office drags old dynasty Yankees out to the ballpark every other day for some retired number ceremony, bobblehead day or to toss out a 1st pitch…hired them while you’re at it!!

Listening to Hal, Cashman and Boone is just as bad as bumping Maroon 5!  I can’t listen to it and am STUNNED when others do! That Adam levine’s voice could crack paint…. but this love (of the Yankees) HAS taken it’s toll on me.

Arrogant leadership pushing a model that fails and telling everyone they just don’t understand is truly insane. Brian Cashman is NOT a good GM. He has NEVER been. That is a FACT! He was a strap hanger under Stick Michael. 

 The Core was the foundation. They won on that formula. When Michaels left, the Boss did Boss things and prolonged the winning with the checkbook while making 1980’s moves – Kevin Brown, Randy Johnson, Carl Pavano etc…. Cashman got “his ring” in 2009 when he was able to buy Tex, CC, AJ and Swish with a core still very much intact…. he didn’t do ANYTHING but buy the world with George’s last big shopping spree. He couldn’t carry Theo’s golf clubs…AND HE KNOWS IT!

Hal isn’t his dad…he ain’t even his sister. He’s a guy who doesn’t know or like baseball. He’s the Jeremy Strong character from HBO’s Succession.   Watch it and tell me I’m wrong!!

Boone? Aaron is a good guy. I was lucky enough to meet him and hangout for a bit back in 2011. He is a class act…but so was my uncle Jack and he shouldn’t be the skipper of the Yanks either after all these years. Remember GI Joe? Girardi?  He was let go after winning a title and growing the Baby Bombers up (with a young Aaron Judge) and we were told they needed a new voice….Aaron Boone’s voice is as stale as the one you hear on the 6 train…”Stand clear of the closing doors please.”

Well, it’s more like a closing window…on Judge and Cole…the Yankee way…and the patience of a fan base.

Hey Hal! Get bent!

--Mike O'Hara
BYB Contributor




I wrote this while listening to the Pistols…they have the pulse of TRUE Yankee fans…