YANKEES MAKE A SPLASH WITH ORNELAS

That is sarcasm.

’Tis the season for Brian Cashman’s annual bargain-bin Easter egg hunt — that magical time of year when he scours the baseball world not for stars, not for upgrades, but for depth. Glorious, unnecessary, “why are we doing this?” depth. And this week, he proudly placed another shiny trinket in the Yankees’ overflowing junk drawer: Jonathan Ornelas.

Per MLB.com’s transaction log, the Yankees scooped up Ornelas on a minor-league deal after he politely showed himself the door from free agency on November 6. Insider Francys Romero added that the deal comes with a spring training invite and a midseason opt-out if the Yankees don’t shove him onto their 40-man roster. Classic Cashman: sign him, stash him, shrug later.

And you just know what’s coming. By February, Cashman will trot out in front of the cameras with that “trust me, I’m a genius” energy and say, “Well, we made some moves, and I like the group we’ve assembled.” Meanwhile, somehow Bo Bichette will be strolling into Fenway wearing a Red Sox beanie, and the Yankees will be convincing themselves that Ryan McMahon is the second coming of DJ LeMahieu. It’s the same movie every offseason — Cashman’s love affair with spare parts instead of actual impact players.

Now, to Ornelas himself. His big-league résumé: 32 games across three seasons. His calling card? Defensive versatility. The guy has played everywhere except first, catcher, and pitcher — so that's good I guess. He was even the Rangers’ Minor League Defender of the Year in 2022. Sounds great… until you look at the offense.

A .208 career average. Fifty-three total MLB at-bats. Nine of them came in 2025, where he hit .222 — which is… well, numbers technically. Once again, the Yankees grab another perfectly nice human being who cannot, under any known circumstances, hit above .260. It’s a skill, honestly — not the players, the Yankees’ ability to find them.

So yes, it’s a minor-league deal. Yes, it probably won’t matter. But it’s also another tile in Cashman’s mosaic of mediocrity — a reminder that while other teams chase stars, we’re collecting utility gloves like they’re Pokémon.

Anyway… welcome to the circus, Jonathan. Best of luck. You’re gonna need it.