THE COMING TOGETHER THAT IS BYB

I have read our headlines: "CANSECO NEEDS TO SHUT HIS FAT WHORE MOUTH...."  I have seen the words: "don't look like you're a cheap bitch." I have been biting my tongue for some time now. 

I will admit, those word choices aggravate me.  Yet, I fell silent.  But the fans, our BYB readers haven't. I have received messages from concerned fans through my Twitter and text message inboxes. I have had them point out stories to me where women have been represented with disrespect, not necessarily on our blog, but across the media.  

Taylor Swift has been testifying in court against inappropriate groping by a DJ on the Red Carpet.  Erin Andrews had to defend herself against a disgusting creep stalking her.  Headlines and words add a shock value to engage readers to click on the story or stay with one despite the many other distractions of life.  I get that... but to me, to many... words like 'whore' and 'bitch' only propagate inappropriate behavior and language.

One fan sent me a story, and this one in particular got to me.  It was a Runner's World piece posted on August 23rd. The piece is entitled, "My Race Attire Is Not an Invitation for Rape, which was written in response to a disgusting pig's comment on a race photo of a mother who was running a half marathon in completely appropriate running attire.

"The day after I ran a half marathon in early August, I woke up to a notification that I was tagged in a race photo on Facebook. Interested to see how the day had been captured, I clicked and was left speechless by several comments from a man I do not know.  “That’s because she doesn’t have any damn clothes on and she’s running for her life...No wonder joggers get raped.”

Source: DAVID LONG / CINCYPHOTOGRAPHY.COM

As writers for BYB, we are a unit.  We take the time to discuss real world issues and we take pride in giving a voice to the millions of families filled with mothers and fathers raising young men and women along with the huge numbers of educators who make up a large percentage of our fan base.  And with some of the recent, provocative headlines and comments made on the pages of BYB on occasion, I have heard you and appreciate you sharing your concerns.  And it's time to turn on the speaker, step onto my soap box and very calmly but intentionally speak up.  The language and behavior which we have seen in multiple contexts via the media and sports figures that derail women, break their confidence and belittle them physically and mentally is completely inappropriate.  So, boss man, skipper, fearless leader: Robert Casey I am calling you out and I appreciate you are giving me this opportunity!

I called Casey this weekend, and we had a productive dialog, like we often do about the pieces we write or the direction the website is going.  We have a vetting process here at BYB. We talked about the words, we had the conversation. Why? Because we can.  Because the BYB environment is a healthy one. We talk everything through because, as I stated earlier, we are a unit.  We have conversations.  This time around however, I told Casey that we simply cannot succumb to the nastiness of the media's portrayal of women by using provocative language such as 'whore' and 'bitch' as derogatory terms for females towards men (players) on our site. We simply cannot.  And the response, was just what you would expect from a guy that has respect for his audience, his writers and the players we write about. Their opinions matter and if changes need to happen... guess what will happen? Changes. Casey agreed and said that I should not only tell the BYB community of my important message, but he'll be more creative in his provocative wording and titles moving forward and smarter with his choices. "It makes sense", he said... "You're 100% right, Suzie. Some days, I think about being provocative, and forget who we're feeding everyday. I'm sorry."

As I say repeatedly to kids and adults: We need to choose our words wisely.  We need to vet them with our peers and mentors and edit as appropriate.  And we simply cannot cheapen ourselves, stoop to the level of the pigs of our world.

Here at BYB, families read us.  Moms read us.  My mom reads us.  Your children read us.  You read us.  And we want to keep it that way.  We promote diverse opinions.  We hear the different voices. And we use these opportunities for dialog to better understand one another.

Casey, I represent the fans who say you have gone too far with your sensational language.  Thank you for listening... thanks for always keeping the dialog in the BYB community going...

Next up... we'd love to hear from you too.

--Suzie Pinstripe

BYB Managing Editor
Follow me on Twitter: @suzieprof