THE YANKEES SIGNED ANOTHER GUY YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD OF

Another offseason, another mystery man pulled straight off Brian Cashman’s clearance rack. This is what passes for “depth” in the Bronx now — squint real hard, cross your fingers, and pray for a lightning-in-a-bottle miracle because spending actual money is apparently frowned upon. The Yankees don’t act like a franchise trying to reclaim its powerhouse status. They act like a company desperately cutting costs while insisting everything is fine. It’s not.

This team is no longer serious, and this offseason has been embarrassing. Full stop.

The latest example? The Yankees have signed Cuban outfielder Ernesto Martínez Jr. to a minor league deal with an invite to big-league spring training. Cue the parade. He’s a former Brewer, spent time bouncing around the minors, and—let’s be honest—was on absolutely nobody’s radar when it comes to transforming the Yankees into a legitimate contender in 2026.

Martínez Jr. topped out at Triple-A Nashville last season before hitting free agency. Yes, he showed some progress in 2024, hitting .284 with 13 homers and 20 stolen bases at Double-A. Good for him. Truly. This isn’t a shot at the player. He’s grinding, and that deserves respect.

But this? This is what the Yankees are selling their fanbase as roster building? Spare parts. Lottery tickets. Hope and vibes. The front office wants applause for dumpster-diving while calling it “staying competitive.” Give me a break. Competitive with who? For what year exactly? 2030?

You don’t rebuild a fallen giant by pretending minor league flyers are bold strategy. You do it by acting like you actually want to win. Right now, the Yankees look less like a championship organization and more like a shell of what they used to be — and fans have every right to be furious about it.

Pathetic.