I HAVE THE PITCHING SOLUTION & IT AIN'T GARRETT CROCHET

Well, well, well, it looks like the Yankees are poking around the Garrett Crochet sweepstakes. Are they serious about it? Depends on who you ask. Chris Cotillo, who covers the Red Sox (and apparently has ears everywhere), stirred the pot on Twitter:

“Continue hearing Red Sox are just on the periphery of Garrett Crochet talks and are not aggressors at all, at least to this point. Cincinnati seen as a real threat to land Crochet. Yankees believed to be in, too.”

First off, I love the term "believed to be in." It’s like saying, “They might be into him, or they might just be browsing.” Classic Yankees: always lurking, rarely committing—until they do.

Let’s take a moment to appreciate the Yankees’ current pitching arsenal:

• Gerrit Cole – Cy Young winner. Enough said.
• Carlos Rodón – Fingers crossed he stays healthy.
• Nestor Cortes – Mustache magic.
• Luis Gil – Underrated gem.
• Clarke Schmidt – Solid, but still figuring things out.
• Marcus Stroman – Didn't even pitch in the playoffs.

Now, Crochet would certainly elevate that group. The man posted a very respectable 3.58 ERA last year while playing for the sad sack Chicago White Sox, a team that was so bad they made the Oakland A’s look competitive. Crochet also struck out 209 hitters, proving he’s got serious swing-and-miss stuff.

But what would it take to land Crochet? The White Sox, bless their little South Side hearts, are apparently asking for the moon. They’ve sniffed around the Yankees’ prized prospect Spencer Jones before but got a firm "nope." And why wouldn’t the Yankees play hardball? Jones is practically untouchable unless you’re sending Shohei Ohtani in return.

Chris Cotillo hints that the Yankees’ interest in Crochet might hinge on their failure to land Juan Soto, who is now a Mets. Let’s just say Steve Cohen is playing Monopoly with real money, and the Yankees are stuck trying to mortgage Baltic Avenue.

Crochet would give the Yankees some serious options. Add him to the rotation, and they could dangle someone like Clarke Schmidt or Luis Gil in a trade for another shiny toy. But here’s the kicker: the Yankees have cash to burn. Why trade?

Instead of flipping prospects for Crochet, why not flex those financial muscles and go after Max Fried or Corbin Burnes? We have the cash now... it didn't go to Soto. So imagine this rotation:

1. Gerrit Cole
2. Carlos Rodón
3. Max Fried
4. Corbin Burnes
5. anyone at all

That’s not just good; that’s unfair and I love it.  Pitching wins ballgames, and possibly even a World Series. Remember we didn't win with just Juan Soto.

But look, here's my hard take. I like Garrett Crochet as much as the next baseball nerd. But if the Yankees are going to start writing checks, write one for some free agent pitching instead? Go big or go home. Losing out on Soto stings, but this is the Yankees. They don’t rebuild; they reload and pitching is smart right now.

So Brian Cashman, if you’re reading this (and let’s be honest, you totally are), stop window-shopping and start splurging. Forget the trades—just buy the arms you need. And maybe send Steve Cohen a fruit basket to thank him for turning the Mets into the “most expensive third-place team” in MLB history.

Stay tuned, Yankees fans. Winter Meetings are just heating up, and who knows? Maybe the Bronx Bombers will finally decide to drop a bombshell of their own.