A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS

That's Cashman and Girardi looking at me... and they can't believe it.

The Trade Deadline was stressful. It was anti-climactic and with so many question marks popping up lately I was expecting something. I have been called a "prospect hugger" by other fans and even some of our readers. I don't deny it but I will be the first one to admit that I wasn't thinking clearly and was not living up to that name.

I have been paranoid the past week. I have this little nagging feeling inside of me that just will not go away. I have been trying to shake it but I can't help but feel like something big and bad is around the corner. The Yankees have been able to dodge a lot of bullets this season unlike the last two seasons that were plagued with injuries. Maybe that is why I lost my sanity, let me explain.

Our current rotation scares me. We have been cruising along this year and everyone has been healthy, for the most part. Suddenly, Michael Pineda hit the disabled list this week, read more HERE. Fine, it's one pitcher right so based on sheer numbers alone I shouldn't be freaking out. However, he has been with us for 4 years now and he has been injured more often then not. Then, I am listening to an interview and he blows it off like it is nothing. In fact, I hear him say "I am not worried, no big deal." Uh, yeah it is! It's August. Pineda, you could be out for a month easy with a forearm strain. The Yankees may have a comfortable lead now in the division but injuries at this point could be a game changer.

To make things more complicated for the Yankees, Ivan Nova left his last start after pitching for 5 innings because he feels fatigued. I know coming off of Tommy John surgery that could happen, but the Yankees have since listed him as "day to day" and it is questionable if he will make his next start. I don't like question marks in August!

This week we also saw Chris Capuano fill in and meltdown. He's gone now. We also saw CC Sabathia have another sub par outing. He is one of the remaining starters and he's not the same pitcher anymore.

I feel like the Yankees are trying to make him be something he isn't anymore. He's not that pitcher and I don't want to watch him struggle like this in the postseason. My heart simply can't take it because I have so much respect and admiration for the guy. This puts too much pressure on Nathan Eovaldi and Masahiro Tanaka. We need stability.

So that leads me to the deadline. Because of the question marks now in the rotation I was expecting an addition of Mike Leake. He made sense and suddenly I am ready to sacrifice....someone on the farm. It hurts me to type that, but it is true. For years I have been the guardian of the prospects. I have literally yelled at Brian Cashman several times throughout the years as if the guy could hear me. Now suddenly I want to ship one off for a short term gain. I am ashamed. I even told this to Casey the other day and I shocked him. I got the old "WOW that's provocative!" He's right. So I sit here, and type that I know I was wrong in the end. I own up to my fleeting moment of madness. I am sorry.

What makes all of this worse....in my fleeting moment of madness I was ready to ship Greg Bird off because in the back of my mind I know he could be the replacement for when Mark Teixeira is no longer a Yankee. Since I have defended the guy to the end of the earth and back several times I guess his resurgent year made me lose sight of the bigger picture here. He is having a good year, but this year means little in the grand scheme of things. The bigger picture here is that when he is gone, Bird does have the talent to make it as a Yankee. I have seen it up close and personal, so that just makes this an even bigger personal failure.

So this is me saying I was wrong. I admit it. I am happy to be wrong when it comes to this. I am a passionate fan and sometimes I let my emotions get the best of me. I am sorry Bird, I really didn't mean to cast you off. I am now off to go find some rehab to make sure that my "prospect hugger" status is never lost and this insane moment never happens again. If you haven't already, read QUIT COMPLAINING! YOU GOT EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED! Because it is exactly what I would've said before I lost my sanity.


   

--Jeana Bellezza, BYB Senior Writer and Editor
Twitter: @NyPrincessJ 









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