HEY TEX, I'VE HAD ENOUGH

I’ll keep this short and sweet.  Tex is just awful.  Nope, I won’t wait until the late spring when he “warms up”.  I think the “I’ve always been a slow starter” is the lamest excuse in Major League history! The Season starts when it starts, Mark!  Why should we allow you to suck for the first couple months?  Everybody else has to contribute from the first pitch on Opening Day!

Tex is NOT a Yankee that will be remembered in my opinion.  Yes, he was part of the 2009 Championship team, but can we actually say that he is worth anywhere near what the Yankees paid him?  NO WAY! NO HOW! NO. NO. NO!  He is a great glove…but we could have spent a hell of a lot less on an equally solid defensive 1st baseman who hits .214!  And the thing that gets me is the excuse after excuse we have to hear.  It’s the time of the season.  No, it’s the wrist nagging him.  No, it’s because of the soccer team playing on the Yankee Stadium field!  NO, NO It’s because he was on sugar for the first part of his grotesque contract!!  Please.

And then there is the Foul Territory nonsense.  Oh you like it?  You think it’s pretty funny?  Well I’m sending you back down to Triple A to WORK ON A SENSE OF HUMOR that isn’t so damn bush league!!  Foul Territory has been done by real comedians and they did it better than our light hitting, Gluten free 1st baseman!

It is a tired formula that Tex just lifted from the likes of Farley and Galifianakis! Come on guys!



Ask yourselves this.  If Paul O’Neill, Tino, Coney, Bernie and other Bomber greats from the hard working Dynasty era missed the post season 2 years in a row, do you think they’d be cool with a lame web show taking time away from a .214 hitter who should be at BATTING PRACTICE!!? No.

I don’t care that Tex is a good guy.  I want him gone.  I want him to pay some of the money back.  I want him to go work at his juice stores permanently and stop telling us he is paid to hit the ball out of the yard.  HE DOESN’T DO THAT!  He now flat out stinks at 2 jobs!  He is a lousy MLB hitter and he is “Yes Dear” funny…which means he ain’t!

Hit the road Tex! You aren’t a baseball player any longer in my book.  I may send you a few Costco boxes of candy bars, 3 cases of Kool Aid and a year supply of Pop Rocks!  Enjoy ‘em ya stiff!  Gluten free?  Shut the %$#* up.

** JUST HIT THE ROAD! And I don’t mean to Toronto, Boston or Baltimore!  I mean to retirement. **


 
 
 
--Mike O'Hara
Senior "Features" Writer
Twitter: @mikeyoh21





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