5 STAGES OF GRIEF FOR FANS OF THE YANKEES POSTSEASON

As a mental health therapist, part of my job is to help people deal with grief successfully in order to move on with their lives in a healthy, productive way so that they can develop a hopeful and positive future. Dealing with grief is a very delicate process. Although everyone deals with grief in their own way; sometimes, people get “stuck” in certain stages and usually, that’s where I come in. I help them move from one stage to another and look positively into the future.

Through the various social networking sites, fan sites, and blogs, it was clear to me that many Yankee fans were moving through the stages of grief after the crushing loss to the Detroit Tigers to end the baseball season. Some people were moving from stage to stage quite well; others are clearly stuck in their grief. For that reason, we at Bleeding Yankee Blue have decided to modify E. Kubler-Ross’ “5 Stages of Grief” to help Yankee fans...And yes, fans of other teams as well…move through the post-season with a healthy and positive outlook for the 2011-2012 baseball season.

Take a look at the stages below and see if you can identify yourself or a fellow fan in any of these phases.

• Denial: This is the phase where we say to ourselves, “this can’t be happening”, “it’s all a bad dream”. We are in complete denial of the loss of the baseball season and all hopes for the 28^th World Series Championship. Maybe you held on to the remainder of your post-season tickets, or train tickets or continued to check the baseball schedule to see when the next game was played. You may have blocked your ears when you heard phrases like “season-ending”, “hot-stove”, or “elimination”. During this phase, all hope beyond hope is kept alive by your thoughts and your emotions. Please, don’t get stuck in this phase. Not only is it unhealthy, but it could get ugly if you’re the only one standing outside the closed stadium waiting to get in to a game that’s not being played. Move on.

• Anger: This is the phase where we look for someone to blame. ARod, Girardi, and Cashman were just a few of the names being tossed around by grieving fans in this phase. We may even blame ourselves. A lot of four-letter words get thrown out there, directed at the team, the league, the umpires, and yes, sometimes even other fans. Although a productive and necessary phase, it’s important to address your feelings and move on. The judge won’t want to hear your excuses that “the umpire made me so mad that I had to….

• Bargaining: After anger comes bargaining. In baseball terms, it’s like a post-season trade. You may find yourselves saying things like, “if only they didn’t use so many pitchers, they would have won”, or “I swear I’ll never miss a game, and donate to charity if they would only just have stayed in the postseason.” Some fans even swore they’d never bash the Red Sox again if it means better luck for the Yankees. This is a last-ditch attempt at trying to resurrect what is obviously gone, and the last of the phases where denial plays a key part.

• Depression:This phase is a tough one to get out of, and if not handled properly, you’ll end up in a pin-striped padded room somewhere. Laying in bed, refusing to watch baseball for the rest of the season, loss of appetite for hot dogs and beer, insomnia, not knowing what to do with yourself during times when the game would be on are all signs that you are in this stage. Certain words like “elimination” and “season-ending” may now bring a tear to your eye. Feelings of helplessness are normal during this phase, but find something productive to do with your time to help you move out of this phase. It’s the very reason why football was invented; it’s an activity to keep fans like us distracted in between baseball seasons.

• Acceptance: This is the ending stage of grief, where we finally come to terms with the reality of the loss and are ready to peek our heads back out into the sunlight again. We take a deep breath, give a weak smile, and flip on the DVR to remember all of the good times we had. Derek Jeter’s 3,000^th hit, Old Timer’s Day, and many other happy memories and highlights from the season are helpful to us now, bring us comfort, and a sense of peace while we wait for the next season to begin.

Keep in mind that all of these things are perfectly normal and healthy. We at Bleeding Yankee Blue care about your well-being. Should you find yourself or someone else stuck in their grief and in need of assistance, please call your local baseball grief expert.

Enjoy the fall and winter, my friends!

--Christy Lee, BYB Staff Writer



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