As I mentioned back in December, on occasion, I like to get an opposing point of view to all this Yankee stuff. Enter, freelance writer Cranston Pebbleworth who sent a piece over to me in regards to Carl Pavano. Trust me, I like Pebbleworth for his wit, nothing else. Besides, I have my piece countering his on BYB as well.
- - The Mighty Casey
What the Yankees need right now is a World-class Bastard to spice things up. With perpetual golden boy Derek Jeter running around sprinkling flower petals, patting small children on the head, and generally keeping all our spirits high, we have enough syrupy-sweet goodness already. Sure, there is Alex Rodriguez with his Zombie-like stare – not to mention the fly-addled time bomb of Joba Chamberlain, but what the Yanks really need is someone to shake it up. Someone to keep the coaches on their toes. And fans need to be left wondering once in awhile if their #4 pitcher is even going to show up after a night downing shots off the bellies of Hooters Girls. I'm talking about Carl Pavano, that's right Carl Anthony Pavano!
And he’ll be is better this time! Really! The guy has had more surgeries than a one-legged sky diver. This can only make him healthier. Like the Bionic Man. NO, like Iron Man! The balls will be flying out of Pavano’s hands like Iron Man’s mighty wrist lasers. This is a guy who is unstoppable. Well, maybe except for the bruised buttocks.... Do they make replacement butt cheeks yet? Well, doesn’t matter. You don’t need a healthy ass to throw baseballs. And the guy doesn’t even need to go to Spring training!
Who needs Cliff Lee anyway? Yankee management was right not fight harder for him. The guy peaked years…ah, weeks ago.
Brian Cashman has shown pure genius here making an offer to Pavano. When others might see a broken down old man who has spent more time in hospitals than ballparks, Cashman must have seen a star.
But alas, it looks like this great reunion is not to be. We won’t have another triumphant return, another outstanding unprecedented success like the return of The Rocket. Looks like it is back to the drawing boards for the Yanks.
Does anyone know where we can find Oliver Perez?
And he’ll be is better this time! Really! The guy has had more surgeries than a one-legged sky diver. This can only make him healthier. Like the Bionic Man. NO, like Iron Man! The balls will be flying out of Pavano’s hands like Iron Man’s mighty wrist lasers. This is a guy who is unstoppable. Well, maybe except for the bruised buttocks.... Do they make replacement butt cheeks yet? Well, doesn’t matter. You don’t need a healthy ass to throw baseballs. And the guy doesn’t even need to go to Spring training!
Who needs Cliff Lee anyway? Yankee management was right not fight harder for him. The guy peaked years…ah, weeks ago.
Brian Cashman has shown pure genius here making an offer to Pavano. When others might see a broken down old man who has spent more time in hospitals than ballparks, Cashman must have seen a star.
But alas, it looks like this great reunion is not to be. We won’t have another triumphant return, another outstanding unprecedented success like the return of The Rocket. Looks like it is back to the drawing boards for the Yanks.
Does anyone know where we can find Oliver Perez?
Cranston Pebbleworth
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