Wednesday, February 18, 2015


You know what you usually hire a handwriting expert for?  Pinpointing the breaking point of a killer.  You read through their diary or note left behind for authorities to find, and you analyze any 'T' or 'P' to see what type of “insight” you can find to get into the mind of that individual. Why did they do it? What was the make up of the killer's mind that would make him slaughter innocent people? You see what I'm saying?

Now that that’s been established, time to bitch slap the lack of journalist integrity from 2 writers that lost their damn minds.  There were 2 pieces out today... one from Daniel Barbarisi of the Wall Street Journal. One from’s Maria Guardado. Both bringing in handwriting analysts to break down the man that Alex Rodriguez is.  Remember what I told you handwriting experts were usually hired for. Now think about what they did.  I mean… are you freaking kidding me?

2 pieces, both from so called respected newspapers did something so low, so JV, that I really need to evaluate what I read each morning going forward.  Not only was their idea ridiculous, but what made it worse was that the conclusions showed the reader absolutely nothing we didn’t already know.  In other words, when I finished each article, not only did I feel like I got ripped off, I smirked.  I smirked because I realized something today. I realized something more than I ever did before.  Bleeding Yankee Blue puts out material better than these once respected publications.  It’s clear to me that when it comes to Alex Rodriguez, news writers are desperate and eager to get a story, ANY story to be provocative and different. Here's the problem; Today's articles and ideas were never vetted, because if they were, they would have been nixed.

Barbarisi apparently was looking for “insight” into Alex.  That was his reasoning for hiring a handwriting expert.  Well, if there is 1 thing we have known about Alex Rodriguez for as least a decade now, it's that Alex is an opened book.  You ain't learning nothing new from analysis of his handwriting unless you want to subliminally suggest he's about equal to a murderer in your piece.  It was low, and by the way, I’m no ARod fan.  What I am is someone that cares about how my work is presented.  It needs to be logical. It needs to be honest. Oh, and by the way, you’re a writer… you want to get some “insight”? Use your freaking brain, bro!  That's what writers do! They bring insight to the reader. That's what makes writers great!  Trying to crack Alex isn’t brain surgery.  You can crack him by using common sense.

Barbarisi got the following information from his handwriting analyst:
  • “He writes like a girl.” Um. OK. And... what?
  •  Capital ‘I’ is personal ego.  Shoot!  I have about 5 capital ‘I’'s in this piece. I must be an ego maniac then!  Whoops, there 'I' go again…
  •  “‘...when he writes ‘major league baseball,’ the ‘m’ has a higher hump on the third hump, which is an indication of someone who is very self-conscious,’ she said.”
Um… pardon me when I say this, but what the fuck is happening right now?  Why does this matter? Who cares?

(In Photo: Maria Guardado)’s Guardado’s didn't do much better:
  • "The great legibility, along with the natural right slant and general rounded of the writing, points to an outgoing, people-oriented, highly social person.”  

That is literally what her handwriting analyst said of ARod.  Like we’ve never knew that about him over the years. Really? How much did you pay that analyst anyway?
  • "At the very end of the letter, Alex combines the 'l' and 'y' in the creation of the word 'Sincerely,'…It is a sign of high intelligence, the ability to cut out what is unnecessary to get to the heart of the matter.”
That's fascinating counselor... but did you know that the definition of 'Sincerely' is “in a sincere or genuine way”?  Or, in other words, "getting to the heard of the matter".  Looks like Guardado needs to get her money back. She got ripped off.

Look, I’m not telling you to like Alex Rodriguez.  I don’t care if you do or not.  I do know this; Alex apologized and there is now only 1 thing that needs to happen.  He needs to produce for the New York Yankees.  He needs to drive in runs.  He needs to hit home runs and he needs to be a team player. He also needs to type the rest of his letters... it would avoid bad "analysis journalism".

Look, love him or hate him, it makes no difference to me.  It also makes no difference to him... Trust me.   Hey, you want to laugh? Craig Calcaterra of Hardball Talk had the best post in this whole thing:

That’s right. The faster you understand that, the better off you are.

Finally, let me say this… on paper, this 'handwriting expert' idea could have been considered brilliant.  But as it unfolded and the article was being written, how dirty did Barbarisi and Guardado feel?  It’s downright pathetic and I’m not exactly sure why it wasn’t scrapped.  It should have never made the light of day. A terrible, terrible idea.

Now, for the sake of not wasting your time, I’m doing something I rarely do. I’m not linking to these ridiculous stories.  If you want to go find them on the net, go nuts.  This story is about bad journalism. I suggest you ignore them. They may be the dumbest articles I have ever read.

(In Photo: Daniel Barbarisi)

And hey, you may disagree and that’s fine. It’s a free country, thank God, but don’t sit there from this point forward and tell me that Barbarisi should be considered a legitimate force in sports writing… it’s a low point, and it just goes down hill from here. He and Guardado have managed to jump the shark.


I leave you with this:

Happy Days was cancelled in 1984. It was the beginning of the end after Fonzi jumped the shark. Remember that.

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