Wednesday, December 17, 2014
CHRIS CAPUANO & BUFFALO CHICKEN WINGS
I know what you may have been thinking before you clicked the link to read this post, “Where the hell are you going with this, Mikey? Too much eggnog, boss?” Nope, it’s nothing like that…I don’t drink eggnog…Guinness is my drink, if you are looking to buy me a round.
I enjoy bar food (pub grub if you will) as much as anybody. One of my all-time favorite items from any local watering hole’s bill of fare is Buffalo Chicken Wings. I don’t know why…they just work for me. I like them hot…not burn your pupils out hot, but hot all the same. Just a little burn to let you know they’re there. Anyway, while I was at Syracuse University I had a buddy from the Buffalo area that taught me the ins and outs of the wing culture that began in his hometown…including the origin story. Now granted this has become something of a “Tall Tale”, but for the sake of the post let’s all agree that this is one version shall we? Yahtzee.
One of the more prevalent claims is that Buffalo wings were first prepared at the Anchor Bar in Buffalo, New York, by Teressa Bellissimo, who owned the bar along with her husband Frank. Several versions of the story have been circulated by the Bellissimo family and others:
Upon the unannounced, late-night arrival of their son, Dominic, with several of his friends from college, Teressa needed a fast and easy snack to present to her hungry guests. It was then that she came up with the idea of deep frying chicken wings (normally thrown away or reserved for stock) and tossing them in cayenne hot sauce.
So there you have it, one of the many stories of the birth of the Buffalo Wing. At the end of the day it’s not all that important. What are important to me is the similarities in Mrs. Bellissimo and New York Yankee GM Brian Cashman. Follow me here if you will…
The Yankees announced recently that they re-signed journeyman pitcher Chris Capuano to a one year deal, read HERE. Look, I thought Cap did a fair job when he came to the Bronx last year. He isn’t flashy. He doesn’t have wipe out stuff and when he’s bad he is REALLY bad. In a way, Chris Capuano is the Buffalo Chicken Wings Cashman is trying to feed to the hungry, Yankee fan base that just barged into the Anchor Bar that is the off season hot stove.
We are hungry for a nice medium rare porterhouse steak (Mad Max) and a Kettle One on the rocks with as many olives as you can jam in the glass (AKA the Big Mike Martini, my Dad’s favorite). Instead an ill prepared Cashman is in the kitchen grabbing anything he can find to throw in the deep fryer and slathering it in tangy, hot sauce. He’ll toss in a few half priced pitchers (the kind you put beer in…no, not like David Wells) and tell us to dig in.
(In Photo: Teressa Bellissimo)
Now, luck and a stroke of genius were on Mama Bellissimo’s side that cold night Upstate. Her son and his pals loved the wings and they went on to the PUB GRUB HALL OF FAME…Cashman? His product seems sloppier. It would appear that he thinks we’ll be OK if he tosses Cap or someone of his ilk on the mound every 5th day with a side of celery, carrots and blue cheese dressing. THINK AGAIN, BRI!! That won’t cut it in the Bronx in 2015.
No offer was made to McCarthy. You let DRob take Sweet Home Alabama to Sweet Home Chicago. I don’t pretend to understand this guy any longer. No, I don’t think Robertson and McCarthy were MUST HAVES, but signing Capuano is like getting a piece of scotch tape and slapping it on a breaking dam.
I am fairly convinced that the Yankees will not spend to solve the problems they have in the rotation. But why does it make sense that they have questions about ARod so they make sure to sign Headley, but the have questions about THE WHOLE ROTATION and sign Chris Capuano?
We got Buffalo Chicken Wings, ladies & Gentlemen. They might taste good for a bit, but they won’t fill you up and when all is said and done they are really bad for you. Thanks, Brian. You are doing a bang up job.
**The Great RUN DMC once told the tale of a lost, not-so-quick soul. This is for you, Cash. TOUCHDOWN!!**
--Mike O'Hara Senior "Features" Writer
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